For years I would hear stories about the annoying damage done by deer to crops and gardens throughout Talbot County. I would listen and then gloat to myself that no such thing could happen in Easton.
While I may be right, we have other destructive animals. Squirrels have asserted themselves in my neighborhood, as I learned during a hearty email exchange among my neighbors. The chatter amused me, but then my life has been unafflicted similarly by the ever-present rodents.
As a local columnist, I was intensely interested in this riveting neighborhood news. I couldn’t ignore it, though it was far from earthshaking, albeit obviously irritating to those feeling the effect of the squirrels’ attack. Our neighborhood was under siege—or so it seemed from the animated email thread.
In deference to my neighbors, I will not identify them by name. Instead, I will refer to them in the innocuous fashion of Homeowner #1, etc. They deserve their privacy in the face of non-discriminating rodents that roam our wonderful neighborhood, unafraid of public censure.
Let’s begin on this exciting journey of in-town inconvenience:
Homeowner #1: Dear friends and neighbors,
I took my car to Hertrich yesterday since a red light warned me that my air bag was malfunctioning. The mechanic showed me that rodents (probably squirrels) had chewed through wiring, which made it seem like there was a malfunction. They also had chewed on covering inside of hood. The mechanic suggested that I put mothballs in recesses of the engine, which I have done. I purchased the kind that come in little packets. It was an expensive lesson- $300 +.
Free moth ball placement lessons upon request!
Homeowner #2 Thanks a lot. Interesting information. However, now, the squirrels will be after our cars. They’ve already eaten through two of our propane hoses to our grill.
Homeowner #3: They chew up our plastic watering cans and hose handles too! And, eat my tomatoes. I have a BB gun, but can’t use it very well, and besides, it would only add a little excitement to the squirrels’ lives, not deter them from their evil activities.
Homeowner #4: I gave up on growing tomatoes. They picked the vines clean.
Homeowner #5: Yikes! I would happily participate in a moth ball placement seminar. They chewed on our phone lines. The one year we grew tomatoes, they would eat half, leave the other half on our mailbox, and would then laugh at us….
Homeowner #6: All I know is that every October when they sit on our finely carved Halloween jack-o-lanterns snacking freely, they are looking me directly in the eye and mocking my very existence. Curse you, squirrels!
Homeowner #7: Hi neighbors, It seems we all have something in common! SQUIRRELS! I actually have quite a few stories similar to what have already been shared … including wires severed, tomato plants being carried away right before my eyes, and the like. But I’ll share the story when a few years back a squirrel/squirrels managed to eat a hole right into the front roof closed-off space above my porch. They were pretty sneaky and quiet at first … then as “love” hit the air, the noisy and wild chasing began. Or maybe I have it wrong, and the screeching, romping and carrying on was fighting for territorial rights. All I knew was it had to STOP! And I needed to fix/shut that little squirrel door! So a live trap was arranged with an open face peanut butter sandwich each day for 13 days … 13 squirrels were carefully caught and given a home far, far away :~)
Homeowner #8: We have had a horrible time with those darn squirrels. There is a picture up at Easton ford because they found the largest squirrel nest they have ever seen. It was under the hood of my car behind the headlight. We drove all the way to Hilton Head with a family of stowaway squirrels. They had pulled old paint rags, twigs, leaves, and newspaper into the engine of my car. Who knew squirrels like to read the newspaper.? Anyway I feel for you ours was also an expensive repair. They are such a nuisance!
Well, folks, you can’t make up these stories, as the saying goes. While we should be happy that deer don’t roam the streets of Easton, squirrels more than punch their weight. My neighbors’ comments can vouch for that.
After reading these squirrelly tales, I suspect my attitude will change toward these ubiquitous rodents. I simply won’t trust them again.
As one neighbor wrote, “They are looking me directly in the eye and mocking my very existence.” Good-humored hyperbole? Maybe not.
Columnist Howard Freedlander retired in 2011 as Deputy State Treasurer of the State of Maryland. Previously, he was the executive officer of the Maryland National Guard. He also served as community editor for Chesapeake Publishing, lastly at the Queen Anne’s Record-Observer. In retirement, Howard serves on the boards of several non-profits on the Eastern Shore, Annapolis and Philadelphia.
Susan Peel says
Thanks Howard!
Please write your next piece about that mothball placement tutorial!
Kaye Dutrow says
Great article , Howard!