The tyranny of dinner by Angela Rieck

Years ago, I was congratulating a mother whose youngest child had graduated from high school with honors. She was gracious, and said that she was looking forward to the end of the “tyranny of dinner.” 

I love that phrase.

But we have learned that the tyranny of dinner didn’t necessarily end when the children leave. Many of my friends report that they still feel, the old “what’s for dinner” approaching around 2 p.m. Fortunately, we are blessed with a number of different restaurants and fast-food chains that can satisfy those who do not want to prepare dinner…but it remains the same…what to do about dinner?

One would think that being retired means that it is easier, but unless there is someone in the family that has taken on cooking as their retirement challenge, the “what’s for dinner” challenge still looms. 

One of the few advantages to being single is that I do not have to worry about what is for dinner. I eat when I want to, and I have found that I tend to eat my large meal at lunchtime. 

Research has shown that it is healthier to eat early, especially for those of us who are watching our weight. A 2022 study found that people who ate dinner around 5 PM burned more calories than those who ate later. Eating later also increased the chances of obesity. Among dieters who were taking in the same caloric intake, they found that those who consumed their calories earlier lost 2 ½ times more weight than those who consumed the bulk of their calories after 5 pm. Early eating is associated with less heartburn and better sleeping.

But what you eat is more important than when you eat. And that gets back to the tyranny of dinner. 

I looked up ways to avoid the tyranny of dinner and all recommended planning. One writer planned her meals for a month, now that is a planner! Another suggestion was to make the meals a week in advance, to be consumed later. 

The few times that I planned ahead (such as starting a crock pot), it felt good to go home knowing that I had answered the question “what’s for dinner.” When I started a crockpot in the morning, I would come home to comforting smells of stew waiting to be served. 

Another way of looking at this is that the tyranny of dinner is a reminder of how blessed we are. We have options and do not have to worry about going to bed hungry (unless we choose to).

So, when the annoying “what’s for dinner” arises, maybe we should take a breath and remind ourselves how lucky we are to be able ask that question.


Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.

AI Disclosure: The Spy and its writers may use artificial intelligence tools to support accuracy and clarity in our reporting.

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