Beyond the Boiling Point: Choosing to be the Coffee Bean by Katherine Emery General

The Carrot, the Egg, and the Coffee Bean is a metaphor that illustrates how people respond differently to adversity. When placed in boiling water, a symbol of life’s difficulties, the carrot becomes soft and weak, the egg becomes hard and unyielding, but the coffee bean does something remarkable: it transforms the water itself. The lesson is that while some are broken down by hardship and others become hardened, the most resilient individuals rise above the situation, using it to grow and create something better. Like the coffee bean, they change their environment rather than letting it change them.

Nothing about last week was easy. I won’t go into details but suffice it to say that our family had our share of challenges, three really big ones. After the third bit of bad news, I walked outside to take some healing breaths when suddenly a dragonfly swooped in and flew in circles around me. I knew from my studies that dragonflies undergo a significant transformation from aquatic nymphs to winged adults, making them a powerful symbol of change and new beginnings. Dragonflies are a sign of good luck, a reminder to embrace change and new beginnings. Once again, the universe is sending me messages.

We are private people. We carry our burdens quietly, wrapped in layers of strength and self-reliance. But something shifted this time. A quiet tug, an urge I couldn’t explain, told me to reach out.

So I did. Three names came to mind, clear, immediate, like a whisper I couldn’t ignore. I texted, unsure of what to say, just that we were walking through something heavy, and for once I didn’t want to walk it alone.

Each friend replied almost instantly, one was actually in the process of boarding a plane. Their responses weren’t shallow or polite, they were full of spirit, light, and grace. Support poured in, not just with words, but presence. They offered prayers, wisdom, and stillness. No fixing. Just being there.

To one of them, I said plainly, “I think we’re being tested.” He responded with a verse that fully addressed my question: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3: 5-6)

That was the moment that I realized: the reaching out might be the path. The support was already waiting. The strength wasn’t only in what we could hold ourselves, but what we were finally willing to open up and receive.

This week felt like a tidal wave, but it’s now clear that the universe is clearing space, testing our alignment, nudging us toward a re-set. The signs may look and feel like chaos, but resilience is often born in the middle of that storm. We’ll continue with our positive outlook and be like the coffee bean, we’ll grow and create something better.

Kate Emery General is a retired chef/restaurant owner who was born and raised in Casper, Wyoming. Kate loves her grandchildren, knitting, and watercolor painting. Kate and her husband, Matt are longtime residents of Cambridge’s West End where they enjoy swimming and bicycling.