Dirty Laundry by Maria Grant

I’ve always found it disconcerting when people make negative comments about former spouses, love interests, bosses, neighbors, etc. My mom used to reprimand my brother and me if we made a negative comment about a neighbor or relative. She would say, “It’s bad form. Don’t air your dirty laundry. You weren’t raised by wolves!”

Now let’s ratchet it up a notch to occasions when U.S. politicians badmouth other U.S. politicians when traveling abroad. Such practices are generally frowned upon because they project disunity and undermine the nation’s geopolitical stability. They also can cause deep offense to international hosts who view such comments as a breach of diplomatic etiquette. 

Airing “dirty laundry” on foreign soil is seen as being disloyal to your home country. Traditional etiquette dictates that while vigorous domestic debates are vital at home, a united front should be presented to the rest of the world. 

Senator Arthur Vandenberg, a Michigan Republican, is credited with originating the famous phrase “politics stops at the water’s edge,” which is often paraphrased as “domestic politics stops at the border.” He coined the aphorism in 1947 to advocate for bipartisan unity in American foreign policy at the beginning of the Cold War. 

Badmouthing current and former U.S. political leaders weakens our negotiating powers and signals division to our foreign adversaries, potentially emboldening them to take advantage of a divided political front. 

It’s also incredibly uncomfortable for foreign dignitaries to listen to a guest insult their country’s current or former officials, forcing the host into a no-win situation. They must either awkwardly agree or awkwardly defend another politician from that country. 

Last week, while on foreign soil, our current Administration repeatedly criticized Obama’s agreements with Iran, making a mockery of the 2015 Iran nuclear deal. (This becomes even more ironic when you examine the comparison between that deal and the current one.) 

In its first term, this Administration questioned the tactics of the U.S. intelligence community and took Russia’s word over ours, and, when in China, it blamed past presidents for out-of-control trade deficits. Plus, on several occasions, when speaking to foreign dignitaries on domestic soil, it has criticized various U.S. cities and domestic policies as “disasters.” 

So, what’s with airing all this “dirty laundry?” Why do people do it? And what should we do if we become victims of this kind of malignment?

Sometimes these maligners seek validation or sympathy. When a conflict ensues, they require reassurance that they are right and their predecessors were wrong. Sometimes people lash out because they are overwhelmed by anger. They just want to vent and seek some kind of release. And sometimes people want to make an issue public to hold another person accountable or expose a perceived mistreatment. 

Airing dirty laundry can cause irreparable damage, tarnishing the reputations of everyone involved. It can also lead to a loss of trust and respect from work colleagues and friends. And certain attacks and “dirty laundry” accusations can cross the line into defamation suits, also at times drawing in unwanted bystanders. 

When dealing with “dirty laundry” accusations, experts suggest staying calm, avoiding over-explaining and, if the accusations are completely false, stating your innocence simply and directly. Avoid giving the accuser the emotional reaction that they want. If the accusation threatens your reputation, job or legal standing, gather corroborating evidence to support your position, and back up the evidence in multiple locations so it cannot be deleted. Consult professionals if the “dirty laundry” accusations cross into defamation or harassment. 

The French film director Francois Truffaut once wrote, “Airing one’s dirty linen never makes for a masterpiece.” 

That’s an excellent reminder to this White House whose hampers are spilling over with piles of dirty laundry—and even a little algae–a tarnished reflection on the United States on its 250th birthday.