Some seasons end abruptly. One day it is freezing cold, the next it is warm and sunny. Summer ends next week, and it has been taking its sweet time. We have been having cooler mornings, but sneaky high afternoon temperatures have been loitering around. Like high school cool kids hanging in the smoking courtyard, they are tedious and must be borne.

We threaded through the farmers’ market last Saturday, trying to keep our social distance from the other folks eager to get out of the house. We are all a little weary and shopworn, like some of the produce. The peaches were looking a little older. The tomatoes didn’t hold the same glistening promise they they proffered in June. We have reached the squash maximum tolerance threshold. I couldn’t even find a new basil plant to buy, as our current plant just gave up the ghost on the back porch: too much summer. What on earth are we going to cook for dinner?

In the summer we are always in a rush to get someplace. The easy peasy, no-cook meals are perfect for busy summer people. We are ready to slow down a little now, and start thinking about a less harried, more reflective way to prepare meals. It’s almost time to dig out the slow cooker. But let’s not waste any time, or tomatoes, zucchini or over-ripe peaches as we anticipate the change of season.

Vivian Howard know just what to do with peaches. This recipe makes me feel happy that I am not a restaurant cook, and as a home cook I can smugly wrap peaches in a leisurely fashion. This is new life for old-ish peaches: https://www.vivianhoward.com/gorging-on-life/country-ham-peaches

Did I say we were tired of squash? Nonsense. Because now I know about squash tacos. These are easy, they are novel, and they are something new and wonderful. Plus we use up more squash. https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/245766/butternut-squash-tacos/

If I see another Caprese salad before 2022 I will surely cause an embarrassing scene. https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/ultimate-caprese-salad Enough! And now that we are living without a viable basil plant, I should be able to avoid Caprese salad at home. Which isn’t to say that I don’t still love a nice big tomato salad. Just hold off on the bland, fresh mozzarella. Keep it for the pizza Margherita. I am moving on to something tart and tangy. https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/late-summer-tomatoes-with-fresh-herbs?

Some cooks are turning to TikTok for meal inspiration. https://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/tiktok-recipes-to-try-out-now

But that crafty Martha has a recipe for squash, zucchini and tomatoes. Of course she would. https://www.marthastewart.com/1549611/baked-fish-summer-squash

Maybe I am just weary of all the numbers, bad news, and monotony, but I cannot wait for autumn to start. I have probably contributed to the weather staying warm by buying a couple of big, yellow chrysanthemum plants for the front porch already. They need daily watering, which fills the basil maintenance void, and look they carefree and cheerful. I’ve ordered daffodil bulbs, and I even though I won’t get to plant them until Thanksgiving, it is nice to have something to look forward to. Spring is just around the corner!

“That old September feeling, left over from school days, of summer passing, vacation nearly done, obligations gathering, books and football in the air … Another fall, another turned page: there was something of jubilee in that annual autumnal beginning, as if last year’s mistakes had been wiped clean by summer.”
― Wallace Stegner,

As I feared, the respite from summer heat that blew through here last week was fleeting. The temperature is back into the 80s in the afternoons, and Luke the wonder dog positively melts during our afternoon walk. He enjoys the ritual of getting in the car, throwing his head out the window, and smelling all the delights our suburban neighborhood can offer a suburban dog. We arrive at the cemetery, where in cooler times we log a brisk half hour of me following him as he determines our path, sniffing fences, bushes, benches, turkey vulture feathers, and yesterday, oddly, a dinner roll. After we have made a couple of circuits he is ready, reluctantly, to get back in the car, to go home, to his kibble. Yesterday, despite the novelty of the abandoned dinner roll, he was nosing toward the car after about 15 minutes. It’s still not fall, and he is rather sad about it.

After our Labor Day weekend, where we celebrated by grilling hot dogs, making potato salad, eating corn on the cob, making yet another batch of Cole slaw, and reveling in the final, end-of-the-season raspberry fool, I am ready to move on to heartier stuff. Isn’t it time to cook some chili? When can we have meatloaf? I am longing for some roasted chicken. How about a nice bowl of steaming spaghetti? I am itching to get back in the kitchen, to turn on the oven, and prepare for winter.

Still. The temperature is not looking autumnal, no matter what my sentimental heart yearns for. If Luke is exhausted and liquified by the heat, a long bout in the kitchen would parboil me, too. So let’s start with a little baking. Something light-weight, and almost seasonal, because it really still is summer, despite myriad pumpkin spice items that have suddenly appeared in grocery stores and coffee shops all over town. I think I can gamble a quick hour of time on some cinnamon sugar pumpkin muffins. The kitchen will smell wonderful, we’ll have muffins with our grilled chicken dinner tonight, and muffins for breakfast in the morning, and if we are feeling generous, Mr. Sanders can bring some to the office to share.

I love the fact that the sugary topping is essential to the appearance of these muffins. Sadly, I never find my toppings approach the deliciousness of the Drake’s Coffee Cakes of my childhood. Remember having those in your lunch bag? Yumsters.

https://www.momontimeout.com/cinnamon-sugar-pumpkin-muffins/

https://plumstreetcollective.com/pumpkin-muffins-with-cinnamon-crumble-topping/

I admire the confidence of our friends at Food52, that theirs are the best ever pumpkin spice muffins. But they are usually right! I also like the helpful hint, buried deep in the recipe, to use a piece of uncooked spaghetti instead of a toothpick when testing for doneness. Genius! Since we haven’t had a cocktail party in a couple of years, due I hope to behaving responsibly during COVID and not to our lack of a social life, there has been little reason to keep toothpicks on hand. And I always have pasta in the pantry. Thanks, Food52! https://food52.com/recipes/84086-best-ever-pumpkin-spice-muffins

I was standing in the check out line at the grocery store earlier this week, eavesdropping on a couple of clerks, who were excitedly sharing their Halloween costume plans. So I am not the only one who is eagerly anticipating the fall. I am even eyeing the candy corn, which is also suddenly ubiquitous.

“But when fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays awhile like an old friend that you have missed. It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and things he has done since last he saw you.”
― Stephen King

Just as I was thinking that summer was nearly over, we have gotten slammed in a huge panini press of searing, scorching heat. My daughter lives in Florida, and I compare her temperatures almost daily with ours. We are neck-in-neck. It’s going to be 93° this afternoon, here and in Florida. On the whole, I think I’d like an ocean view, at least there I could go swimming.

Instead, here I melt, a soft, oozing cheese, while I puzzle over the mysteries of summer squash. Have you noticed the annual wave of zucchinis and squash taking over the produce section at your grocery store? It reminds me of the moment in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, when the pods are disgorged from trucks and car trunks – the gourds are everywhere. We have been outnumbered, and we must do all we can to protect our species, even in this roasting heat. It’s time to whip out our cookbooks and save humanity.

There are green zucchini and yellow zucchini. There is Costata Romanesco Zucchini, which is striped. There is an eightball zucchini, which is a pale green billiard ball. There are straight neck and goose neck yellow squash. There are yellow, green and a yellow/green combination of pattypan squash. There is a pale green Cousa Squash. There is the hybrid Zephyr squash, which is a combination of yellow crook neck, delicata, and yellow acorn squash. It is no wonder that cucumbers are feeling crowded out of the produce section.

While we are still enthusiastic about eating summer squash this is an excellent dish: https://food52.com/recipes/86125-best-orzo-risotto-recipe-with-summer-squash You can eat it sitting on the back porch, once the sun has set, the temperature has dropped, and it is feeling less like a furnace in your own back yard. Look, there are still a few fireflies, and we can almost converse over the racket of the cicadas! Have another glass of wine!

As long as it is summer, let’s use the grill again. Some nights I can’t face more than a salad. Adding a side of grilled zucchini makes a salad more of an event. https://www.skinnytaste.com/grilled-zucchini/ And then a bowl of icy cubes of fresh watermelon. Deelish.

How about dinner and a movie tonight? Ratatouille and Alice Waters’ genius Ratatouille http://tastyoasis.net/2015/11/11/alice-waters-ratatouille/. After you spend the afternoon slicing and dicing, you can spend the evening in Paris with a couple of charmers.

(Here is the link to Ratatouille the TikTok Musical, which is lots of fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1aIzbW6Lrs)

Watch out for your neighbor who shares too much. The first couple of zucchini shared over the back fence are nice and neighborly, but it can lead to mysterious midnight deposits of body bags of them left on your front porch. I can handle any amount of home-grown tomatoes, but my taste for zucchini and squash is limited.

As a thank you for your neighbor, try this subtle revenge: zucchini bread: https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-zucchini-bread-157748

Summer is going to wind down. I have seen a scattering of red leaves in the dogwood tree across the street. Our zinnias are going nuts, and the black-eyed Susans are petering out. I will never remember this heat deep in February, when I will be heartily tired of turtlenecks and knee socks. Carpe diem.

“The trouble is, you cannot grow just one zucchini. Minutes after you plant a single seed, hundreds of zucchini will barge out of the ground and sprawl around the garden, menacing the other vegetables. At night, you will be able to hear the ground quake as more and more zucchinis erupt.”
—Dave Barry

I always loved that first day of school:new shoes, new notebooks, new pencils, and a pristine box of still-pointy, aromatic crayons. I always forgot about my crippling locker combination anxiety over the summer. I never thought about the social implications of lunchroom seating during those leisurely hours, either. And as a responsible parental-unit, I loved shopping for school supplies, and shoes, and new lunch boxes. It was only the night before school started that I confronted the horror: the woeful lack of organization in our lives.

While the young ‘uns were setting out their new sneakers for the morning, and frantically paging through a book that should have been read weeks before, I was peering into the fridge and taking stock of our jumble of foodstuffs. What nutritional and tempting combinations could I conjure that would actually be eaten? Once, when Mr. Sanders had been out of town for a very long business trip, we attempted to set a world’s record for eating pizza for every meal, for many days in a row. I understand that that sort of tomfoolery doesn’t set a good example nowadays.

Now everyone has cute, eco-friendly, bento box lunch boxes, Mr. Sanders included. They have cunning little containers for vegetables, for fruits, for proteins. People cut vegetables on Sunday afternoons, and put them in the fridge for easy access on school mornings. They roll up lettuce wraps, dice carrots, prepare tuna salad, bake muffins and stack little cups of applesauce. These people also involve their children in the lunch assembly process. The existential despair I often felt in those dark, early mornings racing to get lunches made before the school bus arrived no longer exists, because people are organized and thorough. And you can be, too.

While we are still leftover-dependent in this house, these folks know what to do about school lunch organization: https://www.therisingspoon.com/2020/07/healthy-make-ahead-lunches-back-to-school-work.html

A handy guide to Sunday night preps: https://www.realmomnutrition.com/lunch-packing-stations/

And at Food52, the ever-clever Amanda always has some really fab lunch ideas. http://www.food52.com/blog/4436_the_return_of_amandas_kids_lunch

This year, another COVID-19 year, there are still huge challenges for the school-aged. This year we will be sending everyone off with masks and social distancing requirements. Will the children eat their lunches in a cafeteria or from social distances at their desks? Maybe there will be picnic tables outside, while the weather is still nice? Will the children bring lunches from home, or eat school-provided meals? Is this the end of the bologna sandwich?

And now, with a modest little drumroll, is the Spy Test Kitchen lunch list, which I haul out, shamelessly, every fall. Feel free to make your own spreadsheet, or PowerPoint deck so you never have another moment of lunch ennui. The Test Kitchen came up with this flexible list of ingredients for packing school lunches a few years ago. It is just as timely today:

Luncheon Variations

Column A
Let’s start with bread:
Ciabatta bread
Rye bread
Whole grain breads
Hard rolls
Portuguese rolls
French baguette
Italian bread
Brioche
Flour tortillas
Croissants
Bagels
Challah bread
Crostini
Cornbread
Naan bread
Focaccia bread
Pita bread
If storing overnight, layer bread with lettuce first, then the spreads, to keep sandwich from getting soggy.

Column B
Next, the spread:
Mayo
Sriracha
Ketchup
Dijon mustard
Honey mustard
Italian dressing
Russian dressing
Cranberry sauce
Pesto sauce
Hummus
Tapenade
Sour cream
Chutney
Butter
Hot sauce
Salsa
Salsa verde

Column C
Cheeses:
Swiss cheese
American cheese
Mozzarella
Blue cheese
Cream cheese
Havarti cheese
Ricotta cheese
Cheddar cheese
Provolone cheese
Brie cheese
Cottage cheese
Goat cheese

Column D
The main ingredient:
Meatloaf
Turkey
Chicken
Corned beef
Bacon
Crumbled hard-boiled eggs
Scrambled eggs
Corned beef
Salami
Italian sausage
Ham
Roast beef
Egg salad
Tuna salad
Ham salad
Crab salad
Chicken salad
Turkey salad
Lobster salad
Tofu

Column E
The decorative (and tasty) elements:
Tomatoes
Lettuce
Basil
Onion
Avocado
Cucumber
Cilantro
Shredded carrots
Jalapeños
Cole slaw
Sliced apples
Sliced red peppers
Arugula
Sprouts
Radicchio
Watercress
Sliced pears
Apricots
Pickles
Spinach
Artichoke hearts
Grapes
Strawberries
Figs

Column F
Finger foods:
Cherries
Carrots
Strawberries
Green Beans
Broccoli
Celery
Edemame
Granola
Rice cakes
Apples
Bananas
Oranges
Melon balls
Raisins
Broccoli
Blueberries

“ ‘We could take our lunch,’ said Katherine.‘What kind of sandwiches?’ said Mark. ‘Jam,’ said Martha thoughtfully, ‘and peanut-butter-and-banana, and cream-cheese-and-honey, and date-and-nut, and prune-and-marshmallow…’”

-Edward Eager

The Spy Test Kitchen staff are going on the road for a few days, so we are risking boring you by rerunning an old column. Thanks for your patience! Stay safe!

It’s time to claim your fair share of the back seat. Clamber in, and be ready for quality family time. You are going to get along with your brother and no, you cannot roll the window down again. It is too stinking hot. We will get there when we get there, and not a moment sooner. Did you go to the bathroom? Do you have a book from your summer reading list? Batteries charged? Let’s go!

When I was a child we seemed to spend every summer driving up and down the eastern seaboard visiting Civil War battlefields. My father was an elementary school teacher, and had the summers off, and we were his malleable minds. Every moment was a teaching opportunity. We were grist for his mill. The best time he has was spent at the dining room table, unfurling the AAA map, plotting our routes, and showing us everything that we would be seeing. He would have loved Google Maps!

My mother was a complete bluestocking. Everything one needs to know could be learned from reading a book. Somewhere she had developed a romantic notion that picnic lunches were homemade fried chicken, hard boiled eggs and brownies, with Dixie cups of lemonade from the Skotch Kooler to wash it all down. The lunch was best when packed in shoe boxes, everything wrapped in crinkly, unmanageable waxed paper. The March girls must have had a fried chicken picnic luncheon with the Lawrence boy once, passing little paper twists of salt and pepper for the eggs. I haven’t been able to find the literary precedent. But that is what my mother thought was a good meal for a family vacation. But when you were driving to Gettysburg from Connecticut, the brownie was gone before you reached New Jersey. The waxed paper was probably tasting delicious along about Princeton. We couldn’t pull off the interstate into a handy dandy McDonald’s then. The closest we came to fast food was an elegant evening meal at a Howard Johnson’s. Ah. Peppermint stick ice cream. Divine.

My own children fared a little better. They had McDonald’s. And an obsessive compulsive mother who loved all those cute little carcinogenic plastic boxes for Cheerios, Capri Sun juice pouches, yogurt in tubes, string cheese sticks, apples, oranges and grapes. I must have been like Charlie Brown’s friend Pigpen, with a trail of plastic recyclables following us at all times.

Things have gotten better here in the twenty-first century. We now have adorable containers that won’t kill us – I am a big fan of stainless Bento boxes. Mom is laughing at me, for using nice, safe brown, waxed-paper bags. And the snack foods are better, and easier to assemble. I won’t be sweating away in an un-air conditioned kitchen, frying up a batch of homemade fried chicken the night before our trip, and I reluctantly toss those shoe boxes into the recycling bin instead of creatively repurposing them as adorable little lunch boxes. I still call shotgun, though.

To pack up in cunning containers:
Popcorn – pop your own for heaven’s sake
Protein bars – but I won’t tell if you toss in a couple of Snickers bars
Bananas – be sure to get rid of the peels ASAP! Nothing worse than old banana smell in your car!
Carrots – excellent nutrition, easy to hurl at your brother
Grapes – ditto
Peanut butter crackers – Ritz and Peter Pan, simplicity itself
Pistachios – get the red ones and see whose fingers get the most disgusting
Trail mix – you can do this yourself, too
https://food52.com/blog/22624-how-to-make-a-trail-mix
Pretzels
Cheerios – tried and true!
Slim Jims – you must have a disgusting boy in that car
Cheetos – because you are on vacation
Cookies – because you know you want some yourself, and this is the best recipe ever!
https://food52.com/recipes/78188-chewy-chocolate-chip-cookies
Reusable, leakproof water bottles – PBA free, of course

Civil War battlefield alternatives:
https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/8543

https://www.ourstate.com/local-landmark-the-worlds-largest-frying-pan/

https://www.littlethings.com/weird-roadside-attractions-america/6

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
― Mark Twain