Dr. Fauci, who is smarter than all of us, is warning us to be careful on Sunday. He doesn’t want us to be having big
Super Bowl parties. Remember parties? Remember 6-foot subs? Remember trying to figure out if you had enough beer and wine for all the neighbors who were going to stop by? Remembering wondering if there were enough Doritos?
I can tell you from personal experience that you can never have too many bags of Doritos. Whatever delicious chemical they are coated with is surely the same compound found in the endless shelf life of the domestic Twinkie. If you don’t eat them today they will still be fine tomorrow. And on Valentine’s Day. And Pi Day (March 14th), St. Patrick’s Day (March 17th), Easter (April 4th) and Earth Day (April 22nd). By the time Mother’s Day ( May 9th) rolls around you should probably invest in some new bags. Mothers don’t care for Dorito crumbs.
Dr. Fauci says, “You don’t want parties with people that you haven’t had much contact with, you just don’t know if they’re infected,” he told Good Morning America. “So as difficult as that is, at least this time around, just lay low and cool it.”
We can do that. Stay home. Watch out for each other. Let the snack time begin. It just means there will be more Doritos. Delightful.
We here at the Spy Test Kitchens abhor soggy nachos We bake ours at about 450° degrees for about 5 or 6 minutes. Don’t wander off to wait for the Coke commercial – they aren’t advertising this year!
Use a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or aluminum foil for an easy clean up.
Hint: don’t overload the chips with toppings – you’ll avoid sogginess and it is so much easier to eat lightly dressed chips with your fingers. Luke the wonder dog does not deserve any more spillage treats. Clean out your fridge and let the leftovers reign.
Corn chips plus
shredded rotisserie chicken
crumbled Italian sausage
browned taco meat
chopped sweet or red onions
shredded lettuce (add after cooking)
sliced pitted black olives
diced green, red, and yellow sweet peppers
To add after the nachos have come out of the oven:
Eastern Shore folks might enjoy this variation – crab and corn nachos.
8 ounces crabmeat
3/4 cup corn
1/4 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons minced chives
1 teaspoon mustard
Spoon into tortilla scoops;
top with shredded Monterey Jack, then bake.
Veggies and Dip
This evolved from your basic 1950s onion dip for what I imagined to be John Cheever-y kinds of cocktail parties. I think it is a step up the slippery evolutionary kitchen slope because I use Knorr soup mix, which sounds imported, no? Regardless of the shopworn clichés and conceit, this dip is very popular with our guests, back when we had guests. It is delicious whether you are guzzling French 75s or clinking icy bottles of Coke.
Makes 2 cups
2 cups sour cream
1 package Knorr’s onion soup mix
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon fresh thyme, finely chopped
2 tablespoons green onion, finely chopped
Mix all the ingredients together and chill until it’s time to serve. Excellent with veggies, but much better with the aforementioned Doritos.
If you would like to bypass all the sodium and preservatives in the store-bought mix version, and you have a time to fuss, you can make this take from the New York Times.
Sour Cream and Onion Dip
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 pound yellow onions (about 3 medium), thinly sliced
2 shallots, thinly sliced
Kosher salt, freshly ground pepper
1 cup sour cream
1 cup full fat Greek yogurt or sour cream
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 clove garlic, finely grated
Olive oil, for drizzling
1/4 cup finely chopped chives
Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat.
Add onions and shallots and season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until onions are softened and starting to turn a nice golden brown, 15 to 20 minutes. Reduce heat to low and continue to cook, stirring often to make sure the onions don’t stick along the bottom of the skillet. Cook until onions are a deep golden brown and reduced by about half their original size, another 45 to 55 minutes. Resist the urge to turn up the heat to make them caramelize faster. It will lead to burning.
Transfer onions and shallots to a cutting board and finely chop. Place in a large bowl along with sour cream, yogurt, lemon juice and garlic. Season with salt and pepper.
Transfer to a serving bowl and drizzle with olive oil, season with pepper and sprinkle with chives.
Make a point to humor the ghost of our favorite chef, and put out a symbolic bowl of peanuts. Maybe next year we will all have a chance to get together again. We salute you, Dr. Fauci!
“Without peanuts, it isn’t a cocktail party.”