When I wrote last year about Thanksgiving in Rehoboth Beach, DE, I wrote as poetically as I could about the wonders of celebrating this purely American holiday with family and a sumptuous turkey at a house overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. The holiday respite this year was just as wonderful and joyous as last year’s gathering, albeit several degrees cooler.
Surrounded this as well as last year with mostly harmonious sounds of two toddler-grandchildren, constant chatter among the adults and even brief periods of silence while engaged in reading and cooking (not my activity), I felt that life was just right. I couldn’t ask for more.
Days began with lovely sunrises, viewed from a comfortable deck. An IPhone works beautifully in capturing the magnificence of the sun rising from its slumber.
The beach beckoned after ample dinner meals. On Thanksgiving evening, adults and children watched as my ever-patient son-in-law successfully figured out how to fly a “wish balloon.” Also known as a Chinese lantern, it is a small hot air balloon made of oiled rice paper on a bamboo frame, with an opening at the bottom where a small fire is suspended.
According to Wikipedia, “sky lanterns” have been typically produced in Asia “for play or as part of long-established festivities.” A” sky lantern” is a translation of the Chinese name, also referred to as “sky candles” or “fire balloons.”
Both the two children and four adults were mesmerized when one of the balloons actually rose and flew across the ocean before it fell in the water. We were not sure, or too concerned, about whether the paper was biodegradable. This normally environmentally sensitive group took a break from its constant earth-saving concerns.
Thoughts that come to mind during Thanksgiving devolve on thankfulness: are we grateful for family and friends, a good job, strong community, God, personal security, memories, inner peace, outer peace and being loved and being able to love?
All of the above?
Like a plate full of turkey and delicious sides, a panoply of thanks is something to behold—and treasure. We often are at a loss for words to express our gratitude. I suspect we know the words but are loath to express our feelings, except on rare occasions.
It’s human to hold back. It’s also human to wish for openness, a view into someone’s soul. Watching a “wish balloon” ascend into a dark sky elicits some internal, probing thoughts.
As the Thanksgiving holiday came to a close the past Saturday, I received a phone call that Lt. Gen. (MD) James F. Fretterd, the adjutant general of the Maryland National Guard from 1986 to 2002 and a longtime Caroline County resident, died at age 86. He had struggled with poor health in recent years.
I served closely with General Fretterd during his 16 years as the Guard’s commanding officer. Our professional relationship combined with a strong personal friendship.
I had last seen General Fretterd six days before he died. As he did during his career, he fought hard to survive. His strong will was insufficient to prolong his life. He was fighting too many physical infirmities.
Jim Fretterd—whose first name I never used—was resolute and passionate. He loved his family, and he loved the Maryland National Guard.
Under his steady, aggressive leadership, the Guard grew stronger and better as a military organization. Its highest ranks in the officer and non-commissioned officer corps grew more diverse. Overseas missions increased. Public awareness of this historic organization took on greater eminence in Annapolis and Washington, DC.
He served our state and our nation exceedingly well, tirelessly so.
After General Fretterd retired in 2003, and I became a deputy treasurer for the State of Maryland, we kept in touch. Our favorite place to talk and reconnect was Suicide Bridge Restaurant in Secretary in Dorchester County. We always sat at his favorite table. The staff knew and liked him; they also knew his favorite menu choices.
I wrote earlier about thankfulness and feelings often tough to express. I feel no reluctance in thanking my friend, General Fretterd, for his loyalty, for giving me the chance to serve effectively in the Maryland National Guard and enabling us to form a strong professional and personal relationship.
I will miss my longtime boss and friend.
Columnist Howard Freedlander retired in 2011 as Deputy State Treasurer of the State of Maryland. Previously, he was the executive officer of the Maryland National Guard. He also served as community editor for Chesapeake Publishing, lastly at the Queen Anne’s Record-Observer. In retirement, Howard serves on the boards of several non-profits on the Eastern Shore, Annapolis and Philadelphia.
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