Out and About (Sort of): Sleepless as a Senior by Howard Freedlander

A question commonly asked of political, corporate, academic, medical and civic leaders is “What keeps you up at night?” The answer usually is one sanitized through the public relations process.

Answers typically focus on this constant theme: am I doing enough for those who elected me, or am I doing enough for my shareholders or students or patients or consumers of non-profit services?

I decided to turn the question inward. What worries me as I struggle sometimes to fall asleep? As I set about answering that question, I realize that I need to include the hours of wakefulness to cover the carryover effect.

Beyond concerns about health (mine and my wife’s), children (despite being adults) and grandchildren (their growing pains), I fret about our country and its schisms. I fret about what I do not understand about human behavior.

And I spend untold hours bemoaning the failure of my generation to deliver better lives to those following us in our uncertain, dangerous nation and world. Readers, please relax; I will not go on a political rant.

Evidence of climate change and global warming is inescapable. It seems irreversible.

Domestic terrorism and anti-semitism are on the rise. Schools and houses of worship confront frightening realities that are the norm, not the exception. Unbelievably but understandably, schools and synagogues conduct active-shooting training.

I find no dearth of things to worry about, to lose sleep (even during naps). I bemoan the distrust that we Americans feel of government, corporations, academic institutions, the police and the judiciary—and of each other. I too am culpable. For example, the Supreme Court, with its decidedly rightward tilt, no longer seems trustworthy and apolitical to me.

Readers ask: do you really lose sleep, or are you employing a literary device to express your opinions about current affairs?

I constantly think about the future. Mine is limited. Not so with my children, grandchildren and friends. I referred earlier to the climate change crisis. I wonder if family members will find their lives disrupted by sea-level rise and more severe weather. Further, I focus on rampant anger toward those we consider different and worry how that will manifest itself in destructive impulses.

Just recently, I spoke with a longtime friend who characterized his daughter-in-law as “liberal” due to her concern about Covid and unwillingness to visit this friend and his wife. As I have called college classmates about our upcoming 55th Reunion, I have encountered hardened viewpoints about diversity and “wokeness” on college and university campuses.

The anger and disgust are palpable. My classmates represent the spectrum of opinions in our divisive country. I do not fault their perspectives; I respect them. What worries me, as voiced in other columns, is the pigeonholing so prevalent in our country, and the consequent lack of civil discussion.

I love to sleep well without disturbing thoughts. And I often succeed. However, when I read about or see images of serious coastline erosion or more frequent hurricanes and fires, I hark back to the future and impact on generations to follow.

When a heinous act of ethnic discrimination occurs, such as the hostage-taking at the synagogue in Colleyville, Texas, I find myself awash in images and fear of another Holocaust. I have the same reaction to acts of violence toward Blacks and Asians.

My children and grandchildren may find creative and civil ways to address what seems insoluble and intractable to this senior citizen. I dearly hope so.

Goodnight, readers. Sleep well.

Columnist Howard Freedlander retired in 2011 as Deputy State Treasurer of the State of Maryland. Previously, he was the executive officer of the Maryland National Guard. He also served as community editor for Chesapeake Publishing, lastly at the Queen Anne’s Record-Observer. In retirement, Howard serves on the boards of several non-profits on the Eastern Shore, Annapolis and Philadelphia.