Originally we were going to celebrate Friday the thirteenth, and all sorts of foodie triskaidekaphobias (fear of the number 13), but being aware of the current climate of anxiety and worry, it seems only right to skip ahead to St. Patrick’s Day, and embrace all the comfort that comes with potatoes. Particularly ones we can make at home. Nice, fat, hot, crispy potatoes, emerging from your oven or your cast iron skillet. You can have your chips. Just hold that green beer, please.

Potatoes are a blank page or canvas onto which you can pour your culinary skills or just finesse your desire for salty goodness. You might be able to pipe perfect potato rosettes, or flip Pommes Anna with aplomb. Simply peeling a potato, sitting at the kitchen table, with NPR humming in the background, as you gather your being is an act of empowerment. Take care of yourselves. Remember to be kind. Share the bounty.

We have recently found that a little extra freshly grated Parmesan cheese can pack a delicious wallop. (Please ignore the thumb I grated into the eggs on Mr. Friday’s recent birthday, when I decided to add a little fresh grated cheese. He did say they were extra tasty.) So we have been merrily microplaning parmesan with brio, and abandon, and little skill. We add microplaned parm to chicken cutlets, to give them a crackling crust. We add it to sausage and peppers, for umami, he swears. And now we can add it to our Hand-Formed Parmesan Tater Tots, as discovered by those clever folks at Food52. https://food52.com/recipes/25072-hand-formed-parmesan-tater-tots

This is the stuff of life, the basics: potatoes, garlic, cheese, salt and oil. Add a hamburger, pour a modest glass of red wine and add a little green salad and you could happily survive a few days of working from home.
Ingredients
3 large red potatoes (1 1/2 pounds)
2 cloves of roasted garlic
1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
1 dash freshly ground sea salt
Olive oil for greasing pan

Preheat oven to 400° F. 
Scrub the potatoes clean and roast until they are fork tender. Cool them rapidly by plunging them in ice water. Change the water, and repeat, until the potatoes are cool.
Shred the potatoes on the large holes of a box grater.
Place the other ingredients into the bowl with the grated potatoes and use a fork to fully combine everything.
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and rub it with a layer of olive oil.
Preheat oven to 425° F. 
Using about a teaspoon of the potato mixture, form it into a cylinder about 1 inch long. Place on baking sheet and repeat until all the tots are made.
Bake about 35 to 40 minutes, turning once about 20 minutes into the cooking time.

From the other coast: These are a little spicier, adding red pepper and paprika into the mixture. Also – is this audacious or lazy- adding crushed potato chips?

San Fransisco Style Garlic Tater Tots
Ingredients:
1 pound Yukon gold potatoes, peeled
1 cup finely crushed potato chips1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon paprika
vegetable oil, for frying
10 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped
1/4 cup parsley, finely chopped
1/2 tablespoon red pepper flakes

https://www.kitchenathoskins.com/2016/11/30/san-francisco-style-garlic-tater-tots/

Cut large potatoes in half or leave them whole if  medium or small. Add potatoes into a large pot of water, bring to a boil and cook until potatoes are just cooked (do not overcook them).  Drain potatoes and let cool completely.
Place some potato chips in a gallon size ziplock bag, seal and crush with a rolling pin, until  crushed well and measure 1 cup for the recipe.
Coarsely grate the potatoes and mix well with crushed potato chips, salt, pepper powder, garlic powder and paprika, until thoroughly incorporated
(Divide them into 1 1/2 tablespoon measure portions and shape each portion into a 1 – 1 1/2 inch cylinder (the shape of a traditional tot).
Add oil in a deep skillet or dutch oven until it comes to about 1 1/2 inches height up the sides of the pan. Heat over high heat until it reaches 375°F.
Deep fry tots in 2 batches, until each batch is deep golden on all sides (turning them occasionally, 3-4 minutes per batch). Drain them on a paper towel lined plate.
Add 2 tablespoons of the same oil in a small skillet and stir in the garlic, parsley and red pepper flakes. Place the skillet on low heat and cook just until the raw flavor of garlic is gone. Scrape off every last bit of this garlicky goodness over the cooked tots and toss them around.
Serve hot.

And while I like a good spicy crunch, I think I am in the Food52 camp. Give me my spuds hot from the oven, without grease splatters all over the kitchen. And it seems unethical to cannibalize potato chips for the sake of crispy tots. (My children find me devoid of humor sometimes, so bear that in mind.)

Go forth and do good this St. Patrick’s Day. Spread the spud cheer, check on your neighbors and be sure everyone is feeling your warm Irish love. Happy Friday the thirteenth, too.

“You must take the little potato with the big potato.”
-Irish saying

I am about ready for spring to muscle in and shove winter out the door. I want to open windows and replace my heavy wool sweaters with cotton cardis. I want to start some seeds and plan my summer salads. But, no. It is going to persist in being cold and chilly and winter-y here when we get that extra day in February for Leap Year.

This Leap Year there will be no slathering on the SPF 35 before going out to weed the back flower bed. Nope. It’s back in the kitchen to foster love and warm bellies with winter-defying foods.We find comfort in all manner of rituals and gestures. These being precarious times, we are seeking the simplest and most expedient comforts. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.

I spent a lazy couple of hours sitting at the kitchen counter on Sunday watching Mr. Friday preparing a spaghetti sauce. He contently puttered around the kitchen, listening to Dave Brubeck, rolling out meatballs, cooking sausage, browning meat, and mincing garlic all while stirring a vat of tomato sauce. He didn’t consult a cookbook or perform due diligence online with the many cooking experts’ websites. He has been making this sauce for years, remembering watching his mother while she cooked it. It is a memory he relishes, and it is a calming, comforting exercise for both of us.

The vast lasagne he then assembled was enough to feed six for two meals. Except there are just two of us these days, which meant a lot of scrambling around for Tupperware which could then be color-coded and accurately labeled for freezer storage. As we fell on the steaming hot lasagne (and the mountain range of garlic bread, and the jungle of salad) I basked in Mr. Friday’s affectionate gesture. There is nothing like the stupefying feeling of too much pasta to wear away at the edginess that is just a little too much winter.

And this weekend my answer will be this: I am going to make a big pot of chili, because it is going to make me feel warm and cosy.

We are strictly a no beans chili family. There are reasons. And one dog does not cover everyone’s sins. That being said, we do enjoy chili.

One of my favorite New York Times writers, Alex Witchel, has two amusing chili recipes: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1013822-one-hour-texas-chili Never underestimate a recipe that includes Fritos as a major ingredient. I like the depth the chocolate brings to this version of chili: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1012951-the-general-store-chili And I have always been a sucker for hot, buttery corn bread, too.

The Pioneer Woman, enjoying many creature comforts denied to the Ingalls family, has a lovely, bean-y chili recipe. I do love it when I have all the ingredients tucked away already, and don’t have to run to the grocery store. https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ree-drummond/simple-perfect-chili-recipe.html

Epicurious does a grand Texas chili that does not have beans! It is spicy, though. I like a recipe that is better the next day, because if I make enough of it, we will be able to eat it for dinner a couple of times during the week. Then I can have Fritos one night and hot, butter-dripping cornbread the next. Perfecto! https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/our-favorite-texas-beef-chili-51249010

You can buy a bag of Fritos, but here is our own kitchen god’s recipe for corn bread. Thank you, Mark Bittman: https://grassfedcow.com/recipes/mark-bittmans-corn-bread/

Enjoy some Leap Year merriment. Do not eat frogs’ legs. Please. Enjoy some Stag’s Leap wine instead. Here are some helpful hints: https://www.tastingtable.com/cook/national/leap-day-2016-recipe-ideas-leap-year-party

“I am the kind of person who really will drive hours for a bowl of chili. I’m not a three-star restaurant kind of a person; I’m just a food person.”
-Nora Ephron

If this is Friday, the fourteenth of February, and you are reading this at your desk after a nice turkey sandwich, smugly looking forward to the weekend stretching before you, I hope you have done a little planning. It is Valentine’s Day. It is Friday. Fridays require a little flair, a touch of panache, a little extra effort, particularly if you want to enjoy the weekend. I suggest chocolate.

Homemade, store-bought, ordered from the dessert cart, frozen Sara Lee poundcake topped with ice-cream and chocolate sauce, Betty Crocker chocolate cake mix, Hershey’s Kisses from the convenience store, a Whitman’s Sampler (for irony) snatched up at grocery store. These are realistic gestures of love and affection and true regard. If you are considering carnations garnered at the gas station – don’t bother. They do not sing of love and inspiration – they signal cautionary tales of woe. And don’t go for the over-priced roses that were flown in from gigantic farms in Latin America – they will be dead in under a week. You could use that money to invest in a sizable bower of tulips. Plan ahead before you head home this afternoon.

Mr. Friday and I have rarely spent Valentine’s Day together – it might be a major contributing factor to the longevity of our marriage. Most years he has to attend an annual boat show in sunnier climes, leaving me to my own devices. Though there was the year when he was home, forgot about Valentine’s Day sentiment, and stopped at the grocery store on his way home and snatched up one of the last, limp, cellophane-wrapped bouquets of carnations in the place. You know the ones – already sitting in a shopping cart near the check out lane – not even a full dozen. He arrived home to happy, scrubbed pajama-clad children, a home-cooked meal, flourless chocolate cake, and an extremely well-drawn Valentine. Later, in my fury, I did a painting of the wretched after-thought flowers, and sold it for a lot of money to a woman whom I cannot abide. It was a memorable Valentine’s Day.

This past Sunday afternoon I assuaged my conscience, and baked a batch of Dorie Greenspan’s Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies for Mr. Friday’s early Valentine. I was paying the Valentine’s Day love forward. This is the best recipe I have found for chocolate chip cookies. I love it because the oatmeal gives it the appearance of health food and I can freeze more than half of the dough, which it feels like money in the bank, knowing there is cookie material waiting for any possible emergency; better than money spent on roses that have an embarrassing carbon footprint.

https://food52.com/recipes/78188-chewy-chocolate-chip-cookies

I use my electronic kitchen scale for this recipe – Dorie calls for 340 grams of semisweet chocolate. I followed the recipe on the back of the Nestlé bag for years, obviously, and just dumped a bag of chocolate chips into the dough. Now I use Ghiradelli 60% Cacao Bittersweet Chocolate because I am a grownup who prepares for sentimental gestures, but a bag of Ghiradelli weighs only 283 grams. It is a good thing I finally checked. I have been cheating Mr. Friday and his children for years! Now I weigh out the prescribed amount of chocolate chips. Purists would say that I shouldn’t be using waxy chocolate chips, but should instead be chopping the chocolate – but there are limits to my devotion. (I have a stack of books waiting for me on the bedside table and Benjamin Dreyer is longing to hear what I think about his latest: Dreyer’s English: An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style.)

But you go ahead and eyeball the amount of chocolate you want to include in your annual show of love. I’m aiming for a little overkill. I also sprinkle a smidge of Maldon salt over the cookies, so they are not cloyingly sweet. This is real life, after all.

Mr. Friday has de-camped for his boat show once again. The happy children are off on their own, and it is just Luke the wonder dog and me tonight. We are going to make pizza, watch It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and read for a while before bed. Life is good.

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.”
― Alfred Tennyson

There are a few gatherings every year where you don’t have to be creative, original or even politically correct. You don’t need to consult Martha, call your mother or even see what our friends are doing over at Food52. Ritual overcooked turkeys and obviously store-bought cans of cranberry sauce are served unabashedly every Thanksgiving. You can tweak the stuffing, and roast those heirloom Brussels sprouts if you care to – but all people will notice will be the turkey and the potatoes and if you forgot the cranberry sauce. Warm up a pie from the local bakery – people will think that you finally upped your pie crust game. No one cares as much as you do.

The Fourth of July calls for grilled hot dogs and hamburgers. You can try shaking up the neighbors with brats and sausages, or even with veggie burgers. But you can’t stray from that basic American holiday template: grilled food in the back yard. My father grilled ritual hockey pucks every Fourth during my childhood, and they were anticipated with as much excitement as the sparklers and watermelon that followed. Don’t mess with perfection.

Which is why you really don’t need to overthink the snacks you will be serving this Sunday at the annual football extravaganza (which must not be named by small non-profit publications, for fear of big law firms with their eyes on copyrights and trademarks and small fish). Do you really want to make vats of chili, to serve in bowls, to be eaten with spoons, while your guests sit on the white cotton duck slip-covered sofa? Do you want to deal with the inevitable fabric stains, greasy dishes, slurpy spoons, chili-splashed-on-stove and extra napkins? I don’t think so. Do what we are going to do to graciously welcome our friends to our tidy little house. Haul out the bowls of Utz chips (sour cream and onion is my favorite, but you might prefer the crab chips) and Doritos. Scatter some bowls of pretzels and peanuts with abandon around your television. Watch out for Luke the wonder dog. He is very fond of schnacks.

If you want to stay out of the living room and away from the TV, then by all means, cook up some finger food. I have never understood the appeal of wings – so much work for such tiny rewards, and they take so long to scarf down. You probably get hungrier and burn calories as you chomp away. The perfect cycle. I suppose they are more fun if you add beer. Silly me!

https://www.thekitchn.com/garlic-parmesan-wings-22988278?

Our Tall One was always very fond of pigs in a blanket, and I sometimes like to make them and think fondly of those days. But those are fleeting moments, because those pigs get snatched up fast, that sometimes I don’t even get to taste one. We always serve them with a bowl of spicy brown mustard. You can get as fancy or as organic as you like. (Also, Hebrew National has a nice pre-made variety in the frozen food section at the grocery store.)

https://www.grubstreet.com/2020/01/super-bowl-pigs-in-a-blanket.html

I have read the following advice on Thursday, which I must pass along to you, that if you are planning on making guacamole for Sunday, you had better have bought the avocado by Thursday. Get cracking!

Me? I am simplifying. I’m going to sneak off to read in the bedroom. I’ve got a bag of Utz that I hid away earlier and Linda Holmes’ book, Evvie Drake Starts Over. https://www.thisislindaholmes.com

Go, team! I’ll catch up with you at half time.

“The problem with winter sports is that — follow me closely here — they generally take place in winter.”

― Dave Barry