President Trump can be a bully. Bullies are made, not born, and it is easy to be sympathetic to President Trump’s upbringing. Multiple sources confirm that President Trump was raised by a psychopathic father and an indifferent mother. He learned that the only way that he could get his father’s attention was by bullying his brothers and ignoring his sisters. When he became an adult, his father proudly rewarded bullying behavior with admiration and money.
Unsurprisingly, President Trump was a bully in the Presidential Debate.
But what was surprising was how many debate onlookers criticized Wallace and Biden for not stopping the behavior. A quick review of the research makes it clear that it would have impossible to stop this behavior within the imposed limitations of the debate.
Ironically, October is National Bullying Prevention Month.
The education establishment has focused on eliminating bullying for decades. But it has been extremely difficult despite the extensive research and programs directed at the problem. Bullying is especially harmful to children. Duke University demonstrated that victims have health consequences well into adulthood.
Peer mediation and other programs have been tried, but research suggests that the MOST effective treatment to eliminate bullying are “upstanders.” Upstanders are bystanders who stand up for the victim. Bystanders often remain quiet because they fear retaliation, but if enough stand up for the victim, the bully loses his pulpit.
Adult bullies tend to fit into the following patterns:
- Narcissistic: A self-centered, unempathetic person who needs to “put others down” to feel good about himself.
- Impulsive: An individual who has a hard time restraining his behavior when he is upset and lashes out.
- Physical: A person who uses threats of harm or physical domination.
- Verbal: Individuals who create misinformation or use demeaning language to dominate or humiliate.
- Secondary: A person who does not initiate the bullying but joins in to prevent becoming a victim.
Adult bullies are more interested in power and domination. They want to feel as though they are important and preferred, and they accomplish this by bringing others down.
So what can really be done about an adult bully? Very little. Dr. Robert Stratton of Stanford University published a book The Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal with People Who Treat You Like Dirt. While there are many tips, here is the gist of techniques to survive adult bullies.
- Walk away.
- Fight back with your own “army.”
- Use humor to deflect bullying behavior.
The bottom line is that a bully is an insecure person who feels threatened. But while it is important to be an “upstander”, it is equally important to be sympathetic. Behind that bravado, hides a scared, insecure little boy or girl.
Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.
Stephen Schaare says
Hi Ms Rieck, Thanks for the research paper. I was disgusted with that debate after seven minutes. In fact, I believe Trump lost the election that evening. You were incorrect in stating that nothing could be done. Chris Wallace is seventy three years of age. He has never had any fondness for Trump. This is evident if you watch his Sunday program. Chris is more like his Dad every day. His Dad was a foolish, unrepentant lib. It is in the genes. At perhaps 9:25 of that debacle, Wallace should have stood, turned around, and told the audience that he could no longer be a part of such garbage, announce his retirement, and walk away. Now THAT would have been a headline.
David Reel says
Clever but inaccurate title. Bully pulpit is defined as a public office or position of authority that provides its occupant with an outstanding opportunity to speak out on any issue. Bully pulpit has a long tradition in American politics. See an op – ed below I wrote a while back that provides a historical perspective on the bully pulpit and does so in a much less partisan way.
The “Bully Pulpit” – Then and Now
In today’s contentious political arena, few topics generate more intense discussion than the “proper” roles of the media and the “proper’ roles of the President of the United States.
Some believe the media is not reporting the news, but is aggressively trying to change the outcomes of not only elections, but the public policy debates following elections. Others believe the media has an obligation to provide their opinions on the shortcomings (perceived or real) of some candidates/elected officials/public policy proposals and ignoring or overlooking the shortcomings (perceived or real) of others.
Some also believe President Trump has significantly lowered the dignity of the office by responding with his unique brand of tweets on those media reports that he disagrees with. Others believe the President must respond to media outlets working relentlessly to undermine his Presidency.
Some days it seems that the only thing both sides can agree on is they will disagree and will do so by being disagreeable. That said, there may be some agreement that a President bypassing the traditional media to advance an agenda is unprecedented. Those who study and learn from history know it is not.
In Doris Kearns Goodwin’s book The Bully Pulpit: Theodore Roosevelt, William Howard Taft and the Golden Age of Journalism, Goodwin’s chronicles how Teddy Roosevelt engaged in efforts to bypass traditional media to advance his agenda and he did it more than a century ago.
To say that Teddy Roosevelt was a master at using the non – traditional media of his day is an understatement. He used his “bully pulpit” early and often as New York City Police Commissioner, as a member of the New York State legislature, and as Governor of New York. Kearns notes that Roosevelt realized, that “only by ‘appealing directly to the people,’ by ‘going over the heads’ of party leaders, did he have any chance of pushing significant reform through the legislature.”
Throughout his long career in public service, Roosevelt worked tirelessly to develop and nurture relationships with non-traditional media, most notably S.S. McClure the publisher of McClure’s’ Magazine. McClure assembled a stable of writers (often referred to as muckrakers), who openly engaged in efforts to rally public support for Roosevelt’s views on expanding the role and power of the national government.
Some even suggest Teddy Roosevelt’s successes as President were more consequential then the sweeping New Deal initiatives of Franklin Roosevelt, who was a distant cousin of Teddy and who waged a long and intense power struggle with Teddy’s branch of the Roosevelt family tree. This rivalry is the subject of another fascinating book — The War of the Roosevelts by William Mann.
Teddy Roosevelt’s successful use of the bully pulpit never endeared him to the Republican establishment of his day. One opponent called him “that damn cowboy.” Some believe Roosevelt’s Vice Presidential nomination was to ensure he would have no meaningful impact on public policy at any level of government. That plan was derailed when President McKinley was assassinated and Roosevelt assumed the Presidency.
What then is the primary take away for today from Kearn’s book?
From Teddy‘s time until today, the President of the United States has immense power when using the national bully pulpit. Many others will strive to be heard and many will be heard, but all to a lesser degree than the one person who occupies the Oval Office.
That was true when Teddy Roosevelt first used printed publications to bypass the traditional media of his day to advance his “Square Deal” progressive agenda and it is still true today when Donald Trump uses social media outlets to bypass the traditional media of our day to advance his “Make America Great Again” agenda.
Agree or disagree with President Trump’s agenda, he has the bully pulpit, and like Teddy Roosevelt, he is striving to use it to his full advantage. Only time will tell if the way President Trump uses it will ultimately result in the same level of success in changing public policy that occurred when Teddy Roosevelt did it at the turn of the last century.