The Worrier by Angela Rieck

I am a recovering worrier. I got it honestly, my Dad was a worrier. We worriers are a product of both nature and nurture.

First, the nature part of the equation. Research shows that the anxiety caused by worry has a genetic component. While they haven’t been able to isolate which genes play a role, they do know that people are more likely to inherit worrying and subsequent anxiety. If we have a close relative with this issue, our chances of being an anxious worrier are between 2 to 6 times higher than if we don’t. Scientists estimate that 30% of this trait is nature.

Nurture plays a key role, especially when it is learned in early childhood. If parents or close relatives are worriers, some children will learn that behavior. For example, if a mother is worried that each time she takes her child to daycare that something bad might happen, it raises the chance that the child may suffer anxieties at daycare. Often parents model anxious beliefs and behaviors without realizing it. They give the child the feeling that the world’s not safe and anything bad can happen to anyone at any time.

Anxious families also tend to overestimate the negative. If an anxious parent hears something scary or tragic on the news, it isn’t viewed as an outlier but rather a likelihood. Habitual worrying can train the mind to focus on the world as a scary place and increase the amount of worrying. 

Stress and sleep also play a role in worrying. The less sleep we get and the more stress we have, the more likely we are to worry.

Constant worry in the extreme is classified as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). People with GAD feel extremely worried or nervous. Their worry is out of proportion to the actual circumstance and is difficult to control. Both children and adults with GAD may experience physical symptoms as well, including chronic pain, fatigue, or shortness of breath.

It comes as no surprise that worrying is bad for our health. Chronic worrying can trigger a number of health problems because it causes the body’s sympathetic nervous system to release stress hormones such as cortisol. These hormones cause a broad and diverse set of physical reactions such as: difficulty swallowing, dizziness, dry mouth, racing heartbeat, fatigue, headache, poor concentration, irritability, chronic pain, nausea, nervous energy, rapid breathing, shortness of breath, excess sweating, and trembling. Even more significant is that it can result in serious long-term health consequences such as immune suppression, digestive disorders, short-term memory loss, and heart disease. Whew, that is a lot to worry about.

The good news is that there are methods to help us reduce worrying. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is commonly used to treat GAD and we can use their techniques to reduce worrying on our own. CBT teaches different ways of thinking, behaving, and reacting to situations that help worriers feel less anxious and worried. Another treatment option is acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). ACT uses strategies such as mindfulness and goal setting. ACT is a newer form of treatment.

One treatment in CBT is simply to stop ourselves when we begin worrying. Recognize and tell our brains to stop, it can be as simple as that. 

CBT also teaches problem solving techniques to conquer worrying. The basic technique is to identify the problem, come up with solutions, evaluate the solutions, and select the best one. Then make a plan. 

Another approach is to ask ourselves realistically is this something that is truly a threat or simply a perceived threat. If it is a “real” threat, then follow the problem-solving steps listed above.

For example, I used to worry about the world that we were leaving our children and grandchildren. I recognized that I couldn’t solve global warming. But I could do my part (e.g., voting, driving an electric or hybrid car, reducing my use of plastics, buying recycled products, buying organic) to reduce my footprint on the world. My worrying about the environment was not going to help.

ACT and CBT recommend techniques such as: practicing mindfulness and gratitude, limiting exposure to stressors, relaxation, meditation, sharing these worries with close friends—to release them and have them debunked, distraction, having a supportive social network, and simply accepting what we cannot control. 

To calm the anxiety from worrying, a simple technique is deep breathing (mindfully and slowly breathe in and out to the count of 4). Another is a peaceful nature walk. 

A simple distraction exercise is the 333 rule. Look around and name three things that we see, three sounds we hear, and then move three parts of our body. 

Another technique is to write down what is worrying us. It makes it seem less daunting. 

An ACT technique is to refocus our mind toward good things. For example, count the number of things that we are grateful for this moment. Write down our moments of joy and refer to them. Moments of joy can be as simple as a cup of coffee or seeing a bluebird. Writing down moments of joy memorializes them and provides a good distraction.

The good news about worrying is that it is in our control. Once I started mindfully stopping my worrying, I found that I was a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and my interaction with others was a lot more positive. When I worried about someone, I reflected those worries onto that person. It was stressful for the person that I was worrying about.

It is easy to see that worrying provides no value. And it is so obvious that even Mad Magazine could give advice on this one.

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Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.