I am so intrigued by the responses to my column last week that I cannot resist returning to the subject. Coincidentally, Nicholas Kristof wrote a very similar column last week – and he is about as far away from me politically as it is possible to be. In response to an article in which he interviewed Trump voters, Kristof received a tweet saying (https://nyti.ms/2oEb6PQ) “I absolutely despise these people …Truly the worst of humanity. To hell with every one of them.”
There are a few contrasts between comments to Kristof and comments to me. For one thing, I did not get any complaints about my plea for civility from readers at my end of the political spectrum. Kristof and I were both attacked from the left. The animosity that these comments reveal not just toward politicians, but toward anyone who voted for Trump or, in our case, Andy Harris is truly shocking.
Even though I don’t take them personally, I find the reactions to my column more distressing than the reactions to Kristof’s. After all, Kristof is a New Yorker, and he probably does have a very large number of readers who truly do not know anyone who voted for Trump.
That cannot be the case for anyone who lives in Talbot County or even, I will risk a guess, in Chestertown. After all, Trump won a solid majority on the Eastern Shore, and only about one-third voted against Andy Harris. So it is very likely that those who are expressing their hatred and venom toward Trump and Harris supporters have quite a few of us as neighbors. That makes me wonder how those who make such disparaging statements about Trump voters are managing to get along with most of the people they encounter here.
It is very hard to see how anyone can live on the Eastern Shore without having acquaintances who voted for Trump and Harris. Maybe there are enclaves in which everyone living there has the same political views, and it is certainly possible to associate socially only with people who agree with you. (But not, contrary to the claims of one reader, at any country club I know of). When we go into a club or a store or to church or to a local concert, we can never be sure whether the person we are talking to voted for Trump or Clinton.
So in a community like ours, we have more than abstract ideas about how a democracy works to make political civility desirable. It seems to me we should avoid attacking those who voted differently for the same reason we avoid road rage: you never know when you will find the person you just vilified sitting next to you at lunch or in church.
My wife and I have many friends who supported Hilary Clinton, and I do not think our political disagreements have changed the way we feel about each other in the slightest. My dearest friends disagree with me about Clinton and Trump; I do not respect them any the less for it, and I do not see any sign they respect me any the less.
Although there are attitudes that I find illogical or comical or offensive, and I do not hesitate to write about them, I hope I have not shown contempt for anyone because of their political point of view.
Since I am under the instruction to “love my neighbor,” I know that would be wrong. But there are also practical reasons for civility. Unless we are happy to see our country divided into irreconcilably hostile political camps, we need to try to convince others that our own point of view is reasonable and defensible. Sometimes that requires humor, sometimes being outrageous is a useful way to make a point, but for the most part, overt hostility is not a useful method of persuasion.
Listening to those who disagree with you and treating them as you expect to be treated is not just a nice thing to do; it is a necessary first step toward reaching agreement on anything. Just because I am convinced that I am right and you are wrong does not exempt me from listening to you carefully and responding respectfully to your arguments. The more we disagree, the harder I have to work to understand. There is no way I can say anything to you that might change your mind unless I make the effort to understand why you take the position that you do. Then I can start to see where we disagree about facts, or where I may be able to point out a flaw in your logic. (Footnote, I acknowledge Saint Thomas Aquinas as my source for that observation). That is also why you, my hypothetical adversary, need to try to explain your position in a way that makes sense to me. This, of course, is a counsel of perfection, which we never attain. But I believe it is better to strive for it than for the opposite.
I made a comment last week something like “You lost the election, stop acting out.” I seem to have irritated some, but I stand by that comment. Many recent elections were won by candidates who were just as offensive to me as Trump and Harris are to some of my readers. But I did not think I could accomplish anything by telling all and sundry about how unhappy I was. The only effective thing I could think to do was suck it up and get out the votes for the next time. That involved convincing some of those who were in the majority in the last election to change their minds. I believe it is foolish to expect to change someone’s mind by telling them what worthless and deplorable people they are. That, in fact, is one of the major ways Clinton managed to lose.
Then again, it occurs to me that Clinton’s “deplorables” comment may have been a miscalculation rather than a foolish blunder. Remembering how polarized the electorate seems to be, it probably is easier to capture votes from the middle than from the other pole. If this be true, there is a great temptation to go after some of the middle by demonizing the opposite side and making all sorts of inaccurate claims about their positions or character. When combined with the insulting belief that those contested voters can be turned by means of signs and short slogans, this approach drives out civil discussion. Even worse, it purposely chooses further polarization over civil discourse.
So maybe I give my fellow voters too much credit when I say it is more effective to try to convince others in a civil and rational way. But I would rather hold on to that belief than hold on to the politics of resentment and discord.
David Montgomery was formerly Senior Vice President of NERA Economic Consulting. He also served as assistant director of the US Congressional Budget Office and deputy assistant secretary for policy in the US Department of Energy. He taught economics at the California Institute of Technology and Stanford University and was a senior fellow at Resources for the Future.
Lois Harrison says
David,
How can I thank you enough for this cogent insight? It perfectly captures the way I feel about the enduring hostilities that exist in our post-election nation. You’ve hit the nail on the head and your thoughts and opinions are to be applauded. You’re right on the money. Many thanks and please continue this thread of observation and discussion for it is invaluable and greatly needed at this time in our nation’s history.
Gary Saluti says
Hello David.
I recently listened to a conversation on Public Radio entitled “Repairing the Breach”. It was featured on the April 6th broadcast of the On Being show with Krista Tippett. You can access it at onbeing.org. This very civil discourse between Heather McGhee, a progressive leader and Matt Kibbe, a libertarian was a perfect example of how two very different people can indeed meet and talk about their quite divergent points of view without rancor. I found it to be enlightening in the extreme and I believe that anyone, regardless of their political views would benefit from a listen. If you have not heard it, please take the time to do so and let me know your thoughts.
Thank you.