Out and About (Sort Of): Snowbirds Return, A Friend Leaves our Earth by Howard Freedlander

The snowbirds have returned to Talbot County. They’ve come back to the nest, relaxed and refreshed from spending months in South Carolina, Florida and the Caribbean.

Personally, I’m pleased they’re back, though none of us could have predicted the recent cold wave–and even some snowflakes. Many of the snowbirds are friends, whom I prefer to see than text and email. Truth be told, electronic communication can happen in the same room or house in our touch and send world.

I envy the snowbirds. If you don’t have to stay in place during the months of January, February and March, why not migrate south and enjoy warmth, escaping from snow shovels, salt and discomfort?

Active on non-profit boards and committees, I find doing business a bit more challenging when key people are enjoying (with some blips) their boats and hopefully their health. It seems like more people are attending meetings by conference calls. Decisions may take more time.

Welcome home, snowbirds. Stick around for awhile. It’s nice having you around.

Amid the unusually cold weather the past Saturday, a friend and I traveled to Owings Mills for a memorial service.The underlying themes were friendship and love of life. Our friend died far too young at 73.

The church’s pews were filled with a few family members and hundreds of friends. My deceased friend made friends easily and kept them loyally. He liked to laugh, even at himself. He felt comfortable with himself and others. He loved to travel, incessantly.

Unlike many other funerals I’ve attended, feeling rather sorrowful and mournful afterwards, yes I felt sad because a wonderful, good and giving person died before any of us were ready to say goodbye. But I also felt buoyed–even inspired–by stories of a life well spent.

I left the church feeling that the deceased’s family and friends sincerely mourned his early departure–and they did, judging by a church bursting at the seams with admirers. We all still seemed to be relishing his joyful presence.

When talking about the deceased, a friend here in the county wondered: why do the good die young? A much and long-discussed question that is unanswerable. Theologians and philosophers likely have studied and analyzed this complicated query for ages. The question obviously implies that not-so-good people continue to walk our earth, maybe not so benignly.

I am unable to contribute much to this discussion. I grieve, sometimes daily, the loss of my best college friend nearly six years ago at the age of 66, a very good friend’s wife three years ago at age 66 and my mother more than 26 years ago at age 73. Much too young. Too darn prematurely. The pain still sears.

Some say it is God’s plan to remove friends and family from our lives. Some say those who have been seriously ill are in a better place. Some say that those who die young never have to grow old, with age-related maladies.

I’m not sure that bad people survive to bedevil us with their toxic personalities and perhaps evil ways. Perhaps they stick around to remind us of the goodness inherent in others. Provide a balance in a perverse way. Perhaps they too die early, but fewer people mourn their loss. I’m hard-pressed to believe their badness helps them overcome or even avoid disabling and deadly illnesses and unpredictable accidents.

The return of the snowbirds gives me pleasure. The death of my friend reminds me of the immutable value of friendship. His well-lived life illustrates his oft-said statement, “Life is not a dress rehearsal.”

Columnist Howard Freedlander retired in 2011 as Deputy State Treasurer of the State of Maryland. Previously, he was the executive officer of the Maryland National Guard. He also served as community editor for Chesapeake Publishing, lastly at the Queen Anne’s Record-Observer. In retirement, Howard serves on the boards of several non-profits on the Eastern Shore, Annapolis and Philadelphia.