Isolation imposed by common sense and government directives strikes at the core of this unrepentant extrovert. I am coping uneasily with the lack of social contact.
Coronavirus is forcing all of us to imprison ourselves in solitary confinement. We are being asked/directed to consider the common good, to avoid spreading this invisible, insidious medical pest that is wreaking worldwide havoc.
So, what do the extroverts do under these peculiar circumstances and strictures? We can’t ignore the calls for self-distancing. That would be foolhardy, if not dangerous.
For introverts, our current self-isolation is a godsend, a signal to read or walk or cook or garden or meditate or sleep or complete crossword puzzles. The opportunities abound. Their desire for human interaction is limited.
What do we extroverts do to deal with seclusion and a sudden void of social contact? It’s a real conundrum that draws no pity from introverted spouses and friends.
We are on our own in this unpredictable world. Our choices are sadly few. Our self-esteem, fueled by others, is at stake.
This extrovert has a few strategies. He walks and talks to the dog—not even a bark, however, in response. He calls friends, even one in the United Kingdom; he was more than willing to talk, as we did for 42 minutes. Communication carries a cost. And I do what I’m doing now: claim dominion over my IPhone screen and email friends and family to assuage the loneliness.
Of course, not all of my contacts are extroverts. In fact, probably few are. Still, I prod along in cyberspace and communicate endlessly.
Should this communal sabbatical continue for months, then I may have to adjust my strategies. After all, I only have so many friends and family members. And they have only so much patience for pitifully needy extroverts.
One more thing: I can impose ever so gingerly on the kindness of Dave Wheelan, editor-publisher of the Spies, and seek digital space to offer some humor at a humorless time—or other commentary.
Please comment. I need the contact, even if virtual.
Columnist Howard Freedlander retired in 2011 as Deputy State Treasurer of the State of Maryland. Previously, he was the executive officer of the Maryland National Guard. He also served as community editor for Chesapeake Publishing, lastly at the Queen Anne’s Record-Observer. In retirement, Howard serves on the boards of several non-profits on the Eastern Shore, Annapolis and Philadelphia.
George Merrill says
Alas, Howard, I do appreciate that social distancing has placed extraverts in an especially tough spot. A suggestion: call a friend and ask to meet him or her in front of your house. When they come, go out and stand within the six-foot safety margin. Tell them to comment if they want while you harangue them until you’re exhausted. Then go in for a nap.
JT smith says
Shocked to learn that Howdy is an extrovert!
Howard Freedlander says
Good suggestion, George.
Appropriately, JT, I’m reading David Brooks “The Second Mountain.”
Glenn baker says
Howard, I’ve only know you for about a year, but I value our discussions and your opinion. Following George’s direction, I Could share a coffee with you outside ‘at 20 feet’. You have my email.
Howard Freedlander says
Not sure how We talk at 20 feet..,use bullhorns?
Howard Freedlander says
Great suggestion, George. I’ll check w/ Mrs. F. for her opinion.
Appropriately so, JT, I’m reading David Brooks” “The Second Mountain.”
Alan Boisvert says
Howard, perhaps this is a good time to learn to be self content, build self-confidence and reflect on what’s really important. We come into the world alone, we leave he world alone. Nothing wrong with spending some quality time alone. Good luck to you and everyone on this new and interesting journey.
Howard Freedlander says
Being alone is okay, just not too frequently.🤠
Eugenie Drayton says
Hi Howard, this introvert has a confession, contrary to our discussion. When we were told Friday to work from home and not use our cubicles at work, I actually became aware that I too have my limits on isolation. That indeed short interactions and a smile do keep my day going. Notice the qualification of “short” which is general with exceptions.
Good luck and keep your phone on the ready!
Howard Freedlander says
Talking by phone, albeit old-fashioned,provides a lifeline for extroverts, who appreciate their introverted friends’ patience in times of mandatory social distancing.