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June 1, 2023

Talbot Spy

Nonpartisan Education-based News for Talbot County Community

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Pulling It All Together: Mid-Shore Health Improvement Coalition

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For centuries the Mid-Shore has always succeeded in whatever endeavor it seeks when it decides to work together, and that strategy is now being applied to the growing challenge of regional health for its residents.

Under the seasoned leadership Nicole Morris, a public health nurse with some 20 years of experience, the Mid Shore Health Improvement Coalition is bringing together over 150 individuals from more than 50 organizations, in a mission to address the health needs of Maryland’s Mid-Shore region.

The coalition, represented by health officers from Caroline, Dorchester, Kent, Queen Anne’s, and Talbot counties, focuses on critical issues such as diabetes, cancer, tobacco use, healthcare provider shortages, and transportation.

In response to the alarming statistic that one in three adults in this region is affected by pre-diabetes, the coalition has prioritized awareness-raising and lifestyle changes. An innovative online risk test helps individuals identify their risk, while medical providers have processes to screen and refer potential pre-diabetic patients to the National Diabetes Prevention Program.

This program, requiring a year-long commitment, supports individuals in making sustainable lifestyle changes, with the potential to prevent diabetes by up to 60%.

The Spy asked Nicole to stop by the Spy studio a few weeks ago to tell us more.

This video is approximately 5 minutes in length. For more information about the Mid Shore Health Improvement Coalition please go here.

 

The Spy Newspapers may periodically employ the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) to enhance the clarity and accuracy of our content.

Celebrating Women & Girls Fund’s Two Decades of Action: Compass

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It should come as no surprise that women and men accept hospice care differently after receiving a terminal diagnosis. According to Compass’s Heather Guerieri, CEO of Queen Anne’s, Caroline, and Kent County’s local hospice program, many men tend to accept their end of life with directness and an almost business-like approach. In contrast, women tend to be more willing to fight in the initial phase, determined to keep going for families, but eventually are far more inclined to embrace hospice.

And it should be no surprise that the Women & Girls Fund has understood those differences almost from the moment the WGF was founded twenty years ago. And over those two decades, the Fund has made grants for these unique needs, including their Hospice for Women program, grief services, and sending girls to their summer camp after losing a parent.

In the Spy’s ongoing series celebrating 20 years of grantmaking by the Women & Girls Fund, we talked with Heather and former WGF president and board member Kathy Deoudes, who continues to be a volunteer for Compass, about this extraordinarily moving partnership.

This video is approximately three minutes in length. This video is approximately 6 minutes in length.  For the Women & Girls Fund please go here. For Compass please go here.

The Spy Newspapers may periodically employ the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) to enhance the clarity and accuracy of our content.

Certificate Of Need Officially Filed For New Regional Medical Center

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University of Maryland Shore Regional Health (UMSRH) officially filed the Certificate of Need application for the Regional Medical Center at Easton project with the Maryland Health Care Commission (MHCC) on January 6.  This action marks another important step towards opening the new hospital and medical services building on the SRH-owned site near the Talbot County Community Center.

“Filing the CON application for the new Regional Medical Center is a significant accomplishment and an important next step in the advancement of our integrated health care delivery system for Maryland’s mid-shore,” said Ken Kozel, President and CEO of UM Shore Regional Health. “Our growing communities expect and deserve access to a state-of-the-art center with advanced clinical care.”

UM Shore Regional Health’s proposal is to build a new facility to replace its current hospital on Washington Street, parts of which date back to the early 1900s. The application proposes constructing a total of 142 beds (122 acute inpatient and 25 observation beds) and includes emergency, surgery, labor and delivery, and support services, alllocated on 230 acres off Longwoods Road near the intersection of U.S. Route 50. The number of inpatient beds is determined by 2022 data, analysis and projections made by MHCC and the state’s Office of Health Care Quality.

Ken Kozel, President and CEO of UM Shore Regional Health Signing the official Corticate of Need (CON) document.

“The filing of the CON marks a landmark moment for UM SRH and UMMS,” said Mohan Suntha, MD, MBA, President and CEO of UMMS. “Our investments over the last decade across Maryland’s Mid-Shore counties have laid the groundwork for UMSRH to deliver better outcomes for patients from Hoopers Island to Rock Hall and everywhere in between, and this is the latest project to bring 21st Century care and technology to the Shore.”

Building a replacement hospital has been identified as a need since Shore Health System’s affiliation with University of Maryland Medical System (UMMS) in 2006. As healthcare delivery models became more complex, particularly in rural areas, a subsequent merger with Chester River Health System to form UM Shore Regional Health in 2013 occurred. This led UM SRH and UMMS leaders to take a broader view and opportunity to work with community partners throughout the five-county region to create an integrated facility and clinical service delivery plan to reimagine and improve health care delivery across roughly 2,000 square miles of rural communities.

UM SRH has spent the last several years laying the ground work for the advancement of the new Regional Medical Center by making investments in other key supporting projects identified in the System’s plan. The completion of the freestanding medical facility in Cambridge, several medical pavilions and stand-alone emergency rooms in the region, urgent care centers in Denton, Easton and Kent Island, and numerous major equipment upgrades have totaled over $150M in capital investments. Plans are also moving forward in Chestertown with the construction of an Aging & Wellness Center on its current campus.

“We are so grateful for our communities’ patience and trust as we have implemented key strategies to improve health care access and services to each of the counties of the mid-shore,” said Kozel. “As part of our CON application, we are honored to include multiple letters of support from state, county, city and town officials, health departments, law enforcement, chambers of commerce, educational institutions, safety-net health care providers, and economic development agencies in all five counties of our service area. We are also incredibly appreciative of Governor Larry Hogan who earmarked $100 million in proposed funding for the project in his Fiscal Year 2024 budget recommendation.”

Proposed Project Specifications:

Main Hospital Tower: 6 levels; 325,294 square feet
Adjacent medical office and outpatient services building: 60,000 square feet
Licensed Beds: 122 (all private rooms)
Adult Observation / Short Stay Beds: 25
Emergency Department Treatment Bays: 27
Operating Rooms: 7
Helipad (ground level)

Core Programs & Specialty Centers:

Acute Rehabilitation Center
Behavioral Health
Birthing Center
Cardiac Intervention Center
Critical Care/Acute Care Medicine
Emergency Services
Neurosciences
Orthopedics
Women’s Services

Location

The new Regional Medical Center campus is slated to occupy over 230 acres off Longwoods Road near the intersection of U.S. Route 50, adjacent to the Talbot County Community Center. This location is approximately 3.5 miles from the current hospital, and will provide greater visibility, easier and safer access for ambulance and helicopter transport as well as ample parking for patients, staff and visitors.

Timeline

The timeline of the overall project will be dependent on many required regulatory steps, but the proposed schedule anticipates opening the new Regional Medical Center in the summer of 2028.

About University of Maryland Shore Regional Health

As part of the University of Maryland Medical System (UMMS), University of Maryland Shore Regional Health is the principal provider of comprehensive health care services for more than 170,000 residents of Caroline, Dorchester, Kent, Queen Anne’s and Talbot counties on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. UM Shore Regional Health’s team of more than 2,200 employees, medical staff, board members and volunteers works with various community partners to fulfill the organization’s mission of Creating Healthier Communities Together.

About the University of Maryland Medical System

The University of Maryland Medical System (UMMS) is an academic private health system, focused on delivering compassionate, high quality care and putting discovery and innovation into practice at the bedside. Partnering with the University of Maryland School of Medicine and University of Maryland, Baltimore who educate the state’s future health care professionals, UMMS is an integrated network of care, delivering 25 percent of all hospital care in urban, suburban and rural communities across the state of Maryland. UMMS puts academic medicine within reach through primary and specialty care delivered at 11 hospitals, including the flagship University of Maryland Medical Center, the System’s anchor institution in downtown Baltimore, as well as through a network of University of Maryland Urgent Care centers and more than 150 other locations in 13 counties. For more information, visit www.umms.org.

The Spy Newspapers may periodically employ the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) to enhance the clarity and accuracy of our content.

Plans For New Regional Medical Center In Easton Advance With Governor’s Funding Announcement

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During his Fiscal Year 2024 budget recommendation announcement today, Governor Larry Hogan today included $100 million in proposed funding for University of Maryland Shore Regional Health’s new Regional Medical Center at Easton on Maryland’s Eastern Shore.

“Building a new Regional Medical Center in Easton marks the most significant milestone in fulfilling our decades-long integrated facility and clinical service delivery plan,” said Ken Kozel, President and CEO of UM SRH. “Our growing communities expect and deserve access to a state-of-the-art center with advanced clinical care.”

UM SRH officials will submit the Certificate of Need (CON) for the new medical center, which will replace the current hospital on Washington Street in downtown Easton, to the Maryland Health Care Commission in January 2023. The CON submission is the first of several regulatory actions that will occur in the next year required to replace the existing hospital, UM Shore Medical Center at Easton, parts of which date back to the early 1900s.

SRMC Front Entrance

“When I first ran for Governor, we promised that the Eastern Shore would not be left behind in our administration, and for the past eight years we have consistently invested in agriculture, broadband, energy, transportation and education to bring jobs and more opportunity to the Shore,” said Gov. Hogan.  “With the support of local leaders like Senator Hershey and Senator-Elect Mautz, we are incredibly proud to move forward on a path that will help address and transform rural healthcare in the Mid-Shore region and beyond.”

In the past several years, UM SRH has established the foundation for the development of the new Regional Medical Center through investments in other key projects identified in the System’s integrated facility and clinical service delivery plan. These projects include the construction of a new Emergency Department at the Chestertown hospital; new medical pavilions in Queenstown, Denton and Cambridge; the state’s first stand-alone emergency center in Queen Anne’s County; urgent care centers in Denton, Easton and Kent Island; and most recently, a freestanding medical facility in Cambridge. Upgrades to medical equipment and technology have totaled over $150 million in capital investments which include the creation of an Aging & Wellness Center, which is in progress on the campus of UM Shore Medical Center at Chestertown.

“We are building upon our long tradition of excellence in patient care and innovation to be a leader in the transformation of healthcare statewide. As an academic health system, we are working throughout Maryland in diverse rural, urban and suburban settings to solve unique healthcare challenges,” said Mohan Suntha, MD, MBA, President & CEO of the University of Maryland Medical System (UMMS). “Over the last decade, we have invested in a comprehensive and integrated care delivery system with a presence in every county inthe Mid-Shore and this new Regional Medical Center in Talbot County will allow our team members to maximize our capacity to deliver better outcomes for patients from Hoopers Island to Rock Hall and everywhere in between.”

At today’s press conference, Gov. Hogan noted the proposed funding is part of$220 million “in comprehensive and transformative health care investments to further improve access to quality care invulnerable and rural communities.” Speaking of the Easton hospital project, the governor said,”This is an idea that the community has been pleading for for years if not decades.  It’s desperately needed and we are finally in a financial position to make this critical investment.”

Since the former Shore Health System’s affiliation with UMMS in 2006 and subsequent merger with Chester River Health System to form University of Maryland Shore Regional Health in 2013, UM SRH and UMMS leaders have worked steadily with community partners throughout the five-county region to reimagine and improve health care delivery across roughly 2,000 square miles of rural communities. UM SRH investments in the region to-date have provided innovative solutions to address county-based health care needs while creating a connected care delivery system for residents of Caroline, Dorchester, Kent, Queen Anne’s and Talbot counties.  Complementing these investments with plans to construct a regional medical center for the Mid-Shore ensures UM SRH will provide best-in-class health care services for all aspects of inpatient and outpatient care.

The new Regional Medical Center campus is slated to occupy over 230 acres off Longwoods Road nearthe intersection of U.S. Route 50, adjacent to the Talbot County Community Center. This more centralized location will provide greater visibility, easier and safer access for ambulance and helicopter transport as well as ample parking for patients, staff and visitors living in our mid-shore region.

While final specifications are subject to state regulatory approval and planning commission support, the facility’s current design encompasses over 325,000 total square feet with an adjacent medical office and outpatient services building occupying an additional 60,000 square feet. The CON plans will include data- driven assumptions for ample inpatient and observation beds, operating rooms and Emergency Department treatment rooms to meet the needs of our Mid-Shore community.

About University of Maryland Shore Regional Health

As part of the University of Maryland Medical System (UMMS), University of Maryland Shore Regional Health is the principal provider of comprehensive health care services for more than 170,000 residents of Caroline, Dorchester, Kent, Queen Anne’s and Talbot counties on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. UM Shore Regional Health’s team of more than 2,200 employees, medical staff, board members and volunteers works with various community partners to fulfill the organization’s mission of Creating Healthier Communities Together.

About the University of Maryland Medical System

The University of Maryland Medical System (UMMS) is an academic private health system, focused on delivering compassionate, high quality care and putting discovery and innovation into practice at the bedside. Partnering with the University of Maryland School of Medicine and University of Maryland, Baltimore who educate the state’s future health care professionals, UMMS is an integrated network of care, delivering 25 percent of all hospital care in urban, suburban and rural communities across the state of Maryland. UMMS puts academic medicine within reach through primary and specialty care delivered at 11 hospitals, including the flagship University of Maryland Medical Center, the System’s anchor institution in downtown Baltimore, as well as through a network of University of Maryland Urgent Care centers and more than 150 other locations in 13 counties. For more information, visit www.umms.org.

The Spy Newspapers may periodically employ the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) to enhance the clarity and accuracy of our content.

The Mental Health Crisis on the Mid-Shore: A Chat with For All Season’s Beth Anne Dorman

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One of the most damaging aspects of the COVID pandemic, which is still very much in evidence on the Mid-Shore, has been the unprecedented toll on the mental health of children and their parents. While America had seen a significant rise in the number of families impacted by psychological and emotional trauma well before the coronavirus hit our shores, the combination of school closings, financial hardship, and social isolation created an unprecedented uptick in those seeking help.

In fact, American Psychological Association recently reported that six out of 10 psychologists say they don’t have openings for new patients. And locally, For All Seasons, the Mid-Shore’s largest mental health provider, has shown a 27% increase in therapy requests since the COVID years began.

For Beth Anne Dorman, the CEO of For All Seasons, there is a silver lining in this grim new reality. While this rise in both children and adults is indeed troubling, Dorman notes that these numbers also reflect a society where one’s mental health s finally being discussed on par with one’s physical health. This increased demand for services indicates that families are now having to have the kind of conversations about depression, anxiety, and trauma to lead individuals to get the help they need finally.

The Spy sat down with Beth Anne last week to discuss this unique challenge and how For All Seasons is using new and creative ways to manage this surge in demand.

This video is approximately six minutes in length. For more information about For All Seasons please go here. 

The Spy Newspapers may periodically employ the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) to enhance the clarity and accuracy of our content.

The Choptank Health Update: Chestertown and Kent County

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When Sara Rich came on board to lead the Choptank Community Health System in the summer of 2016, she and her board immediately started to work on a plan that would fundamentally change and improve the health care of the entire Mid-Shore. Despite the impact of COVID, Choptank has nonetheless moved forward on the nonprofit organization’s commitment to improve and expand affordable and accessible healthcare in the region.

Over the next few months, the Spy will be talking with Sara about Choptank’s increased support for local health needs and the advances they have made in Caroline, Dorchester, Kent, Queen Anne’s, and Talbot counties.

We begin with Chestertown the Kent County.

This video is approximately four minutes in length. For more information about Choptank Community Health System please go here. 

 

 

The Spy Newspapers may periodically employ the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) to enhance the clarity and accuracy of our content.

The Danger of Pancreatic Cancer: A Chat with Survivor Bill Shrieves

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It the world of health education related to cancer, nothing can be more powerful and more effective than the testimony of someone who has survived the odds this this horrific disease. And in the case of pancreatic cancer, it’s hard not to be moved and motivated by the experience of Bill Shrieves.

The retired businessman, who heads up the Mid-Shore Pancreatic Cancer Foundation, was diagnosed 12 years ago and faced unbelievable odds.  Back then, and even now, most victims die within just a few months after the tumor has been identified, and the survival rate after four years is 11%. In fact, pancreatic cancer is the third largest cause of death with cancer patients.

Even more sobering is that pancreatic cancer is so hard to detect. As Shrieves points out, there are no standard tests, and the symptoms of the disease remain vague. That being said, abdominal and persistent low back pain are important clues, as is discolored urine, that something isn’t right. And increasingly, medical research is indicating  that adult onset diabetes might be another troubling sign.

With all that in mind, Bill Shrieves is determined to get the word out, particularly during Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month, for folks to reach out to there doctor if they are noticing these symptoms, especially if pancreatic cancer runs in their family.

The Spy sat down with Bill last week to learn more.

This video is approximately minutes in length. For more information about pancreatic cancer, volunteering or make a donation please visit the Mid-Shore Pancreatic Cancer Foundation here.

The Spy Newspapers may periodically employ the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) to enhance the clarity and accuracy of our content.

The Journey Begins on a Mid-Shore Flagship Hospital

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Last night a bit of Mid-Shore healthcare history was made. At a joint session of the councils of Easton and Talbot County, Shore Regional Health CEO Ken Kozel outlined the first major step in the creation of a flagship regional hospital for the five counties of the Mid-Shore of Maryland.

The first step is called a “Letter of Intent,” which will be sent to the State of Maryland’s Healthcare Commission next month. In short, this document demonstrates that the University of Maryland Medical System is serious about building a major state of the art health facility near the Easton airport in Talbot County.

But the second step is perhaps the more important of the two. In this case, UMMS will move forward with the documentation and filing of a “Certificate of Need.” Not only does UMMS need to document the need to build an expensive 350,000 square foot hospital, but that the community input of Caroline, Dorchester, Kent, Queen Anne’s and Talbot County citizens also needs to be documented.

“Building a new Regional Medical Center in Easton marks the most significant milestone in fulfilling our decades-long integrated facility and clinical service delivery plan,” said Ken Kozel, President and CEO of UM Shore Regional Health. “Our growing communities expect and deserve access to a state-of-the-art center with advanced clinical care.”

Since Shore Health System’s affiliation with UMMS in 2006 and subsequent merger with Chester River Health System to form UM Shore Regional Health in 2013, UM SRH and UMMS leaders have worked steadily with community partners throughout the five-county region to reimagine and improve health care delivery across roughly 2,000 square miles of rural communities. Investments in the region have included modern inpatient and outpatient health care services to the residents of Caroline, Dorchester, Kent, Queen Anne’s and Talbot counties on Maryland’s Eastern Shore.

UM SRH has spent the last several years laying the groundwork for the advancement of the new Regional Medical Center by making investments in other key supporting projects identified in the System’s integrated facility and clinical service delivery plan. The completion of the freestanding medical facility in Cambridge, several medical pavilions and stand-alone emergency rooms in the region, urgent care centers in Denton, Easton and Kent Island, and numerous major equipment upgrades have totaled over $150M in capital investments. Plans are also moving forward in Chestertown with the construction of an Aging & Wellness Center of Excellence on its current campus.

Submission of the CON marks the first of several regulatory actions over the next year required to move forward with relocating the current hospital on Washington Street in Easton, parts of which dates back to the early 1900s.

The new Regional Medical Center campus is slated to occupy over 230 acres off Longwoods Road near the intersection of U.S. Route 50, adjacent to the Talbot County Community Center. This location is approximately 3.5 miles from the current hospital, and will provide greater visibility, easier and safer access for ambulance and helicopter transport as well as ample parking for patients, staff and visitors.

The Spy caught up with Ken and Dr. Mohan Suntha, the University of Maryland’s Health System leader Dr. Mohan Suntha by Zoom yesterday in what the Spy hopes will be the first of a series on the new hospital project over the next few years.

 

This video is approximately 7 minutes in length. For more information about Shore Regional Health please go here.

 

 

 

The Spy Newspapers may periodically employ the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) to enhance the clarity and accuracy of our content.

Maryland Children Continue to Experience Mental Health Challenges

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Irene Diane is excited for her senior year at Bowie High School, serving as president of the school’s student government association and future aspirations to attend college.

But the 17-year-old Prince George’s County resident says mental health remains a challenge among her peers. One way to eliminate it: Maryland lawmakers should approve a statewide policy that mirrors legislation U.S. Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-Mass.) introduced last year on Capitol Hill that diverts federal money for police in schools and use it to hire more school counselors and pay for other student services.

“Disciplining students for things that aren’t violent and implementing detentions and suspensions, that’s taken students out of the classroom,” Diane said. “It’s a disservice to take away their education.

“That affects a person’s mental health, especially Black and brown students and creates the school to prison pipeline.”

Irene Diane, 17, a senior at Bowie High School in Prince George’s County, said eliminating the school-to-prison pipeline serves as one way to eliminate mental health challenges among her peers. Photo courtesy of Irene Diane.

Mental health has become a major impediment in the nation to improving a child’s life, which the Annie E. Casey Foundation details in its latest 2022 Kids Count Data Book that assess children’s well-being nationwide and provides a state-by-state breakdown of services and performance.

The foundation’s 33rd edition focused on mental health and how the COVID-19 pandemic affected children and families when the virus crippled the nation beginning in March 2020.

The pandemic caused a delay in some data collection from the U.S. Department of Education’s National Assessment of Educational Progress. For instance, 4th grade reading and 8th grade math are based on 2019 data and high school graduation information from the 2019-20 school year didn’t come in time to publish in the data book.

Although national trends show children in poverty and parents who lack secure employment have become “better,” other factors became “worse,” such as 3- and 4-year-old children not in school and obesity increasing among those ages 10 to 17.

Black children ranked the highest in 2020 among those living in poverty, low-weight babies and being overweight or obese.

Nationally, the number of children ages 3 to 17 who experienced anxiety or depression increased by 25% from 9.4% in 2016 to 11.8% in 2020. The figures are based on those either diagnosed with or reported to have those symptoms by a doctor or health care provider.

During that same timeframe, Maryland ranked 13th in the nation with a 36% increase of children ages 3 to 17 with anxiety or depression either reported to or diagnosed by a doctor or health care provider.

Maryland ranked 19th in the nation for overall child well-being, which the foundation measured as “better.”

Among the foundation’s key indicators of economic well-being, education, health and family and community, Maryland ranked in the top half of 50 states and the District of Columbia.

‘Everyone deserves a break’

The Maryland Center on Economic Policy of Baltimore, which partnered with the foundation for the first time on the Kids Count report, offered some policy suggestions for Maryland lawmakers.

Benjamin Orr, president and CEO of the policy organization, said the legislature should extend the “modest” $500 child tax credit set to expire at the end of the year. The credit provides for families with annual incomes of $6,000 or less and have dependents with disabilities under the age of 17.

Del. Julie Palakovich Carr (D-Montgomery) sponsored legislation this year to extend the child tax credit until Jan. 1, 2027. The annual family incomes would increase to $15,000 and provide the credit for children 6 and younger or under 17 years old for someone with a disability.

Palakovich Carr’s legislation didn’t advance out of a House committee, but she said in a Twitter post June 4 she will “keep fighting to expand Maryland child tax credit to include more families.”

Orr also said legislators must ensure both the paid family and medical leave program and the education reform plan, Blueprint for Maryland’s Future, are implemented and funded.

“We just can’t say we did that and stop paying attention,” he said. “We have to make sure those programs are actually fully funded [and] that they are producing the benefits that legislators intended.”

Stephanie Maceiko, a 16-year-old student at Bowie High School in Prince George’s, offered an idea that wouldn’t cost much money, if anything.

The high school junior proposes reinstating a 30-minute advisory period at the school used most of last school year. Similar to a study hall, she said students sat in class to catch up on classwork, complete homework, or simply relaxed without live instruction from a teacher.

“It was such a positive benefit for the school,” she said.

Less than a month into this school year, Maceiko said the only break during her eight-hour school day is a 30-minute lunch period between her two-hour third period class.

Although she’s preparing to attend college after high school graduation, the pressure of trying to get into a four-year university can be stressful.

The impact of COVID-19 influenced Maceiko to focus more on her mental health, even if that means sacrificing extra credit on a long-term project or major assignment.

“If it’s impacting me mentally, then I’ll just have two points [missing] so I don’t drain myself to the point where it’s unhealthy,” she said. “I manage my time so it doesn’t get too hectic and not too overwhelmed. Everyone deserves a break…because you will push yourself over the limit.”

The Spy Newspapers may periodically employ the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) to enhance the clarity and accuracy of our content.

Handling Grief As a Man – and Finding One’s Way After the Death of a Spouse

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The bereavement support group has wound down after about an hour and a half, with folks talking in small groups or milling around the table with homemade cookies and muffins, provided by the participants. Jack baked the bran walnut raisin muffins just the way he did when his wife was alive. The top of the muffins have been abundantly sprinkled with sugar. Jack would slice the top off for his wife, Diane, who liked the sweetness; he would eat the bottom half. Jack shares a muffin in this fashion with one of the women.

The only male member of the day’s 12-person-strong support group, Jack also participates in a weekly men’s-only meeting, where he is part of a very special brotherhood. I want to talk to Jack about this, but first, he tells me, he wants to talk with some of the women in the group that just broke up. The men in his support group, I have come to learn, encourage female company. The idea is that the companionship that’s been lost should be replaced, even at a much more casual level. It is a start. 

Ten minutes later, Jack and I are talking about the men’s group.

“We are like soldiers who have been in a foxhole. We have developed a love that is hard to explain,” Jack says, cutting to the chase. He credits the men’s group with aiming him toward light at the end of the tunnel when he couldn’t, he says, even see the tunnel. 

After Diane died suddenly of a heart attack, Jack was lost. After days in a haze of sadness and inactivity, he found himself looking for help. A friend suggested a Hospice-led bereavement support group—even though Diane hadn’t died while under Hospice care. (Bereavement support is available to anyone at all who wants this help.) Jack called the number he was given and got to speak to Lindy Barton, Talbot Hospice bereavement coordinator and social worker. She leads support groups at the Talbot Hospice office in Easton. Her wisdom and kindness are profoundly healing. 

“Grief exposes people to a different state of being and vulnerability,” says Lindy. In the group, the participants deeply support each other. “They are in a place of feeling safe to share concerns, emotions, and thoughts. They learn that it is okay to give themselves permission to grieve and that each of them will grieve in his own way, in his own time frame.”

“We five guys share our souls,” Jack says. Lindy also shares book recommendations with the group. “The green book, Understanding Your Grief by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D., she suggested was the eighth I’d read that touched on the subject of grieving,” he tells me. Finally, a chord was struck. Lindy had hit a home run.  

“What I learned in the very first sentence,” Jack continues, “is that grief is a process of adjusting. Yes, I’d had 54 years with my wife, and then she was gone.” The book reinforced that the loved one who is gone is honored when the one left behind resolves to take care of himself or herself. Jack has marked up the margins of the book with his comments and, here and there, a smiley face. Serving as the book’s bookmark: a photograph of his wife.

“We are more than classmates,” Jack offers. “We have developed nearly brother-like relationships while we help each other recover from loss.” They encourage each other to take action—to fill their time with things that will gratify, such as spending time with family. 

“The group participants learn that if the grief process is delayed, it is more difficult to discover hope and joy again,” Lindy adds.  “I have appreciated watching participants come to the understanding that it is okay to accept that life will never be as they once knew. We talk a lot about reconciliation and transitioning.” Lindy underscores, “The grief never fully goes away but it can be changed.”  However, she says, “As long as you can mourn, then you can dance again.”

Jack shares that the men’s group has moments of lightheartedness interlaced with the sadness that comes with devastating loss. The darkness certainly can overwhelm. Jack tells of learning that one of his cohorts was in such a black place that he was contemplating suicide. Jack listened. He asked questions. He gave support, love, and the assurance that he was there for him. His friend pulled through.

In the end, as Lindy explains, the men’s bereavement group is a collection of individuals moving toward a new normal. “Their communication with each other is heartwarmingly realistic as they express their concerns, hopes, dreams, and fears while learning that what they are going through is sometimes normal during periods of sorrow.

Weaving throughout many of the men’s discussions is the concept of mindfulness—“of being in the moment,” as Lindy explains it, offering that the best way to be in the moment is to “be kind, patient, trusting, accepting.” Certainly a good way to move through the healing process.

Sheila Feldman Buckmaster is a staff member at Talbot Hospice in Easton. For more information about Talbot Hospice’s various bereavement support groups, call Lindy Barton or Jody Gunn at 410-822-6681 (116).

 

 

 

The Spy Newspapers may periodically employ the assistance of artificial intelligence (AI) to enhance the clarity and accuracy of our content.