You might as well know up front that I believe in life after death, mental telepathy, and mind over matter. Also, that I spent quite a bit of energy in my youth trying to make Purrfur-the-cat levitate, and that I have had at least two precognitive dreams. A third dream may have tapped into an unknown dimension as well.
So, in the first dream, my boyfriend’s life was in danger. He was a winsome 2nd class midshipman at the US Naval Academy, and I was an angsty, song-writing sophomore at Washington College. We had met on a blind date and hadn’t been going out very long, when I awoke in my cinderblock dorm room in Minta Martin Hall knowing my boyfriend and all his classmates were in mortal danger. The dream was just weird enough that I went to the phone at the end of the hall and placed a call. “You’re in danger,” I said. Then I shared the dream warning on a feedback loop in my head. “You won’t know who he is, because he’s one of you.”
“That’s weird,” my boyfriend replied. “Last night, we went on lockdown. A guy who graduated in June had a mental breakdown in basic training at Quantico and was driving back to Annapolis to settle a score. He had a uniform, of course. And a gun. And a DOD sticker on his car to get through the gate.”
In the next dream, I was sitting in a circle with a bunch of other college kids from all over the east coast, listening to a tall, soft-spoken man with thick white hair, introduce us to his wife, a diminutive blond with a French twist and an authoritarian vibe. “Your purpose in life,” she explained, eyeing each of us in turn, “is to learn and to grow.” Not a week later, I arrived at the Craigville Inn and Conference Center on Cape Cod, where I would be waiting tables with other students from June through August. I can’t say the exact circumstances of the dream were replicated but as I reported to the front office, with its faux wood paneling and worn orange carpet, there they were. The man and the woman I had just dreamed of –only now they had names—Dr. and Mrs. Pierre Vuillemiere–co-directors of the conference center.
Unfortunately, all I learned that summer was how to pack on a fast 30 pounds cutting up Boston Crème pies, and that true southern boys, who want to marry southern girls, think Maryland is a northern state. But the third dream is the one I hang on to. How can we know if it’s true?
I was thinking about guardian angels one evening just before bed. I was a young mother of three at the time, which probably is why the whole concept came to mind, as in, I could use some help here… Is there someone assigned to watch over them? Over me? Over you? Maybe an ancestor or relative we’ve never met? Or one we’ve lost? I thought of my Aunt Lenora, who had died at 104 with a cap of white curls and the sparkling blue eyes of a fairy godmother.
And that night I dreamed I did indeed have a guardian angel and that person was standing right behind me! I could feel the presence, a benign loving energy, close enough to touch. And I thought, all I have to do is turn around. A mystery of the universe is about to be revealed. Male or female, I wondered. Young or old? Familiar or stranger? Slowly, slowly, I turned to meet my protector and guide. To say thank you, I’m so grateful, how can I serve?
And there was not one person in attendance behind me, there were hundreds, maybe thousands of souls standing there–smiling, compassionate countenances as far as the eye could see. As tightly packed as a crowd at a rock concert or a Superbowl, only lovingly silent,
The world is a mysterious place, and we are hardwired to learn its secrets. What is consciousness? Quantum entanglement? Dark Matter?
We want to know how everything works but here’s the thing: until we do, we live in a world in which we’re not in charge. Where the inexplicable can happen. Where a girl can try to save a boy who’s just entered her future, where a stranger can weigh in on the meaning of life. Where you already possess all that you long for. Where in your scariest moments, you were never alone.
Laura J. Oliver is an award-winning developmental book editor and writing coach, who has taught writing at the University of Maryland and St. John’s College. She is the author of The Story Within (Penguin Random House). Co-creator of The Writing Intensive at St. John’s College, she is the recipient of a Maryland State Arts Council Individual Artist Award in Fiction, an Anne Arundel County Arts Council Literary Arts Award winner, a two-time Glimmer Train Short Fiction finalist, and her work has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Her website can be found here.
Patty Rush says
Loved this, Laura! Beautifully written…
With Jack leaving me behind and moving into the other ‘realm of existence’ , Heaven, as I like to think of it… I know he is around me, and that I will be with him again someday. Just ticks me off that he can’t fix the stuff that breaks in the house, or take a drive or sit across from me at the kitchen table.. Or does he?? Maybe..sometimes.
Keep doing what you do. You can’t know how your writing lifts your reader & and makes their life a little more thoughtful and enjoyable.
Laura J Oliver says
Oh Patty, thank you. I am so positive that Jack has never left your side, that he is indeed sitting across from you at the kitchen table. I have had so much evidence of this in my own life which, while intriguing and even fascinating, only confirms for me what I have always intuited was true: That death is a transition and Jack is still Jack in every way. He just moved into another room–he can hear you talking, he can see you through the doorway, and someday, when you cross that threshold to join him, time will be revealed to be an illusion as well. It will be as if only a second has passed, as if you had just turned away for a moment to pick up a book, or put a stamp on a letter. You’ll turn back around and it will be the most natural thing in the world. You’ll say, “Oh, Jack! I was just thinking about you and there you are.”
Nancy Jo Steetle says
Fantastic. More Laura Oliver!
Laura J Oliver says
Thank you so much, Nancy!
Al Sikes says
Welcome, artfully put.
Laura J Oliver says
Thank you for the welcome, Al. I’m happy to be here!
Victoria Duncan says
Thought-provoking, haunting (in the best possible manner), and comforting! Love this, Laura. Great writing from a gifted author and empathic teacher!
Laura J Oliver says
Vicki. High praise coming from a gifted therapist and writer herself. Thank you so much for leaving a comment. I’m excited to read what comes next in your own body of work.
LynnDee Conley says
I Love your writing and your spirit 💜
Laura Oliver says
Thank you, LynnDee!!
Mark Pellerin says
What a great and wonderful start of this for you !
Apologies for being a stranger chiming-in except that there is a bit of a tie: I have wondered if it was “place” or “just me” with dreams, or the combination. I lived in East Hall for my Sr. year (’75, a transfer who’d been “out” 3+ years, non-traditional student admitted on a stiff Probation) at WC and had a dream one night that had me reciting poetic words that I thought surely had potential to make me look more scholarly or as if I “belonged”.
This was more than shocking: within a week or less, “The Elm” ran a young woman student’s poem and those were the very SAME words I’d wakened with! EXACTLY.
I hadn’t known quite what to do about the words or my dream. Until now. THANK YOU
Laura Oliver says
Mark! What a remarkable experience! I’m so glad you shared it. The world is a mysterious place!
Amy Kimball says
Welcome Laura! George and his graceful essays are missed …. it is so good to have you coming on board.
Thank you for this first contribution, it’s just right, and appreciated.
Laura Oliver says
Thank you, Amy. I know George was much beloved.
Howard E. Snyder says
“You already have inside you all that you have been searching for”…yes, I believe that, Laura.
George & Jo Merrill have been my best friends on the Eastern Shore for the last 22 years. I miss George very much. His writing was strong and very often quite inspirational. He was a mentor for me on my spiritual journey.
Welcome to the Spy and hope you are very successful in this work.
Any relation of Mary Oliver…one of my big favorites…When I am Among the Trees, Summer Day, Invitation, When Dearh Comes, etc
Laura Oliver says
Hi Howard, I’m sorry you’ve lost such a close friend.
I’m not a relative of Mary Oliver though I met her when working on my masters at Bennington and am a fan as well. Coincidentally my mother was a psychotherapist and poet who influenced me a great deal.
Michael Pullen says
You’ve touched many chords here, a symphony of love expressed in the language of the heart. Thank you.
Laura Oliver says
Hi Howard, I’m sorry you’ve lost such a close friend.
I’m not a relative of Mary Oliver though I met her when working on my masters at Bennington and am a fan as well. Coincidentally my mother was a psychotherapist and poet who influenced me a great deal.
Laura Oliver says
Thank you so much!