Editor’s note. It is with great pleasure to note that Maria Grant will succeed the late (and great) Howard Freedlander as the Spy’s regular Tuesday columnist starting today. Readers will recognize Maria as one of our highly-read opinion contributors for many years, and we are thrilled, as I think Howard would be, that she will be bringing her special voice to the Spy Newspapers four times a month.
I’ve been steaming after participating in a few political discussions with relatives and friends on my screen porch. Comments during these discussions include, “Kamala is not ready for prime time. She didn’t get the delegates legally.” And then there was the comment, “Same thing with Hillary. The only reason she ended up where she was is because her husband was president.”
So, I went to bed outraged and agitated. Why is it that so many people assume that women get to where they are in life only because some man in their life propelled them to greatness? Yet almost no one says the same thing about men—especially white men.
Let’s take a look back at history and entitlement, shall we? Did FDR become president partly because of family wealth and name recognition thanks to Thedore Roosevelt? Did JFK gain prominence because his father Joseph P. Kennedy was ambassador to the UK and served in the Roosevelt administration? And let’s not even begin to unpack where RFK Jr. would be today without the benefit of the Kennedy name. Did George Bush Sr. have a leg up because his father was a U.S. senator? And did George Bush and Jeb Bush get their respective jobs because of their last name? Did Al Gore rise to power because his father was also a senator from Tennessee? It is interesting that I don’t hear a lot of people saying the only reason these white men got their jobs is because their fathers propelled them into the spotlight.
And then let’s look at the national and international political experience of some men who became president. Ronald Reagan was an actor and governor of California. He had no national or international political experience. Jimmy Carter was a Navy submarine commander, a peanut farmer and then governor of Georgia. He had no national or international political experience. Bill Clinton was governor of Arkansas. He had no national or international political experience. George Bush was governor of Texas. He had no national or international political experience. Barack Obama was a community organizer and senator of Illinois for one term. Donald Trump was a real estate mogul with a series of bankruptcies under his belt with no national or international political experience. He never wrote a piece of legislation. He never passed a bill. And let’s not forget that Trump is hardly a self-made man. The New York Times has reported that Trump received more than $413 million over time from his dad–much of it through dubious tax dodges including outright fraud.
Yet somehow, it is Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris who aren’t qualified to run for office according to so many Americans, newscasters and reporters. Talk about double standards. Hillary was a lawyer, a First Lady, a senator, and Secretary of State. I understand if you do not like her policy positions or do not agree with her stance on various issues. But please don’t tell me she was not qualified to run.
Kamala Harris was a district attorney, then attorney general of California—the most populous state in the U.S., senator of California and a vice president for four years. Again, I get it if you do not like her policies. But please do not tell me she was not qualified to be vice president and is not qualified to run for president.
Mike Pence was governor of Indiana and about to lose that race before he was appointed to be Trump’s VP. No one said he was not qualified to become VP. Dan Quayle was a senator of Indiana before he became VP. No one said a man who could not even spell potato was not qualified to run.
Now let’s talk about J.D. Vance, Trump’s handpicked candidate for VP. J.D. was elected to the Senate in 2022, which means he has served less than two years as a senator. Before that he was a venture capitalist in the technology industry propped up by Peter Thiel (somewhat similar, although to a lesser extent, to Trump being propped up by his father’s wealth). Yet somehow, it is Kamala Harris who didn’t deserve to be nominated as Vice President.
When women such as Kamala and Hillary participate in debates, they are frequently called “unlikable” or “too aggressive,” or “too angry.” Pew Research studies have shown that men are 33 percent more likely to interrupt a woman than another man.
On the other hand, Pew Research also shows that many believe that women in politics would be better at working out compromises, better at maintaining a respectful tone, better at being honest and ethical, better at standing up for what they believe in despite political pressure, better at working well under pressure, and better at doing their homework and making decisions based on verified data.
Let’s be honest here. The double standard is alive and well in the US. It is true that more women are in leadership positions, but we have a long way to go.
In her book Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg said, “Success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively for women. When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less.”
My fervent hope is that these tendencies diminish over time. It is way past time that men start opening a bigger tent and stop being threatened by successful women. It is also way past time for women to do a better job of supporting other successful women.
Maria Grant was principal-in-charge of the federal human capital practice of an international consulting firm. While on the Eastern Shore, she focuses on writing, reading, piano, kayaking, and nature.
Mickey Terrone says
Great article, Maria. I look forward to reading your columns weekly.
After all is said and done with the 2024 campaign (and Trump’s post-election attempt to take down our US Constitution via state-sponsored fraudulent challenges to the electoral process), I think Kamala Harris and every other American woman with a strong political consciousness, will have a greater opportunity to earn leadership positions.
For Americans to hear and see a woman answering questions at presidential press conferences, making State of the Union speeches, representing our country as leader of the free world and negotiating and articulating for a strong socioeconomic agenda for average Americans, she will send powerful, daily messages to American women and girls (and men), that women are fully capable of political, social, economic and moral leadership.
If the glass ceiling is finally shattered in 2024 and a woman is sworn in as US President, IMO, there will be a quantitative breakthrough for women as elected officials at every level of city, state and federal governments. I can see this event as tantamount to women getting the right to vote.
In 2016, a woman won the popular vote to be President of the United States but lost in the electoral count. The result has been a calamity for America (and the free world). This time, if America gets it right, a woman will have the opportunity to demonstrate once and for all, that women belong in political and every other leadership position based upon their qualifications, skills and character. She can do it, and as Americans, we can do it!
Maria Grant says
Thank you so much for your insightful and encouraging comments. I so hope that you are right and Americans get it right this time. Again thanks.
Maggie Andersen says
Spot on Maria and congratulations on becoming a regular columnist! Your column reminds me of a book I considered writing at one time…”After all These Years: The Continuing I fluency of Sexism after Decades of Feminist Consciousness Raising.” It’s infuriating that women are rarely lauded for their own achievements, even against the odds and barriers. And now Trump even has the nerve to claim Harris worked her way to the top through sexual favors. Of all the nerve given his past! As Kamala Harris just said, “It’s an old playbook!” Or, in my words, “Enough already!” Thanks for this work!
Maria Grant says
Thanks Maggie. I read several chapters of the latest edition of your book. You understand better than most the challenges of women and people of color. Your students at the University of Delaware were fortunate indeed to have you as their professor. Thanks for reading my article.
Damiene Pedlow Nelson says
Great article!!
Thank you for defending WOMEN!
Maria Grant says
Your welcome and thanks for reading my article. Much appreciated.
Marianne Mackey says
This is an excellent article. Thank for sharing specific examples to help people understand that the bar for women is still higher than for men. The likability issue continues to be a problem. Women leaders are judged on smiling and gentle voices on equal footing with skills, experience and results. That is expressed as I just don’t like her. You may disagree with Harris’s policies, but she has more experience than most men who have run for President.
Maria Grant says
Marianne,
Thanks for your comments. Much appreciated.
Parvine Chowfla says
Great point of view Maria!
Looking forward to reading your weekly articles
Maria Grant says
Thanks Parvine. I always welcome your point of view!
Margot Miller, PhD says
Well done. And I look forward to reading you regularly. For those interested, I recommend, Carol Gilligan and Naomi Snider, _Why Does Patriarchy Persist?_ (Polity, 2018) – and all of Carol Gilligan’s work, for that matter.
Maria Grant says
I will check our Carol Gilligan and Naomi Snider. Thanks so much for those recommendations and thanks for reading my article.
Kay Perkins says
Please remove me from this list of recipients. Not sure how I got on it in the first but no doubt because I am a subscriber to The Star Democrat.
Thank you.
Doug Michalek says
Loved your article, right on the mark! Look forward too reading more.
Craig Fuller says
Glad you will be doing this on a regular basis. That’s number one.
Second, I completely agree with you. And, being VP for 3 1/2 years is about the best preparation a person could have for what they will face as President. There is not a day where the glibness of a talking head is what is required as President. If elected, I do believe Vice President Harris brings a great deal of experience.
Your fine piece did remind me of a very old and less elegant story….
Seems Bill Clinton and Hillary found themselves driving across the country years after their White House days, and in the middle of nowhere they needed gas.
They pulled into the gas station and a good old boy slowly walked out to the car to fill the tank.
Bill looked at Hillary and said, “just imagine if you’d married that fellow….think of where you’d be today.”
To which Hillary replied, I would be living with the former President of the United States!
Maria Grant says
Craig,
Thanks. What a great story! Thanks so much for your support. It means a lot.
trudy wonder says
Thank you for calling out the ridiculous double standards that continue to be alive and well, still. You did the topic justice with numerous comparable tangible examples. There is, truly, no other reasonable explanation for the disparity in treatment. Cue the gender-specific criticisms that have nothing to do with substance, that will undoubtedly emerge after this week’s election debate.
I enjoy your writing and look forward to reading your Tuesday columns, Maria.
Maria Grant says
Trudy,
Thanks. Your comments are always so interesting. Please keep reading and commenting. I look forward do it.
Kathleen Nilsen says
Well put- It would be great you could get this published in major newspaper!
Michele Therien says
For a moment, I thought this opinion peace was going to go the other way. I liked how it actually went. Well done and said, Ms. Grant.
Wilson Dean says
Maria, this great article only underscores how stimulating it will be to read your work every Tuesday. I concur that women likely do have a better temperament for making wise decisions in the political arena. Looking across the wide spectrum of horrible decisions made by male Presidents in the past, it is hard to argue they could do any worse.
Glenn Baker says
It is sad that you could not find a more centrist voice to replace my friend Howard. The comments should, alone, make your poor choice clear.
Maria Grant says
Glenn,
Please know that I too enjoyed Howard’s articles. I’m sorry that my articles are not your cup of tea. I met Howard and thought he was a thoughtful and substantive person. I will miss his articles.
Deirdre LaMotte says
Your comment is curious. What is not
“centrist” about stating well qualified women
and men should be evaluated with the same standards?
Jim Franke says
I can see that when you don’t like the facts and the actual history, then you won’t like a summary conclusion.
Maria Grant says
Thanks for reading my article. I’m not sure I understand your comment about not liking the facts. Please say more.
John Fischer says
Clever, Ms. Grant. But distracting from Ms. Harrises inability to communicate coherently on her feet by trotting out tired old charges of anti-feminism, is a dog that won’t hunt.
Maria Grant says
John,
Thanks for reading my article. With all due respect, I challenge your comment about Harris’ inability to communicate coherently on her feet. I will spare you the thousands of Trump’s totally incoherent comments.
Mickey Terrone says
One moment, please, Mr. Fischer. This quote is from your preferred candidate, Donald Trump. He starts by “explaining” how Harris “destroyed” San Francisco offering no details. Then he goes off babbling in a stream of unconsciousness that is fearfully disjointed. Just think about the mental deterioration that is allowing Trump to blither like a seriously demented person much older than 78.
Trump said, and I quote: She destroyed the city of San Francisco, it’s — and I own a big building there — it’s no — I shouldn’t talk about this but that’s OK I don’t give a damn because this is what I’m doing. I should say it’s the finest city in the world — sell and get the hell out of there, right? But I can’t do that. I don’t care, you know? I lost billions of dollars, billions of dollars. You know, somebody said, ‘What do you think you lost?’ I said, ‘Probably two, three billion. That’s OK, I don’t care.’ They say, ‘You think you’d do it again?’ And that’s the least of it. Nobody. They always say, I don’t know if you know. Lincoln was horribly treated. Uh, Jefferson was pretty horribly. Andrew Jackson they say was the worst of all, that he was treated worse than any other president. I said, ‘Do that study again, because I think there’s nobody close to Trump.’ I even got shot! And who the hell knows where that came from, right?
And people like you would vote for Trump to be POTUS? Don’t you care about our country? His brain is shot.
Michael L Pullen says
Your passion and your reasoning come through loud and clear. You are right to point out the hypocrisy that hypocrite fail to see. We live in a time of fundamental change, your article identifies one of the most consequential changes we will experience in our lifetimes, a fundamental shift in awareness of what has been and what is happening in plain sight. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King also got it right, “The arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”
That is true, and we are privileged to see it happening.
Bob Rietz says
As usual, Maria is spot-on. I’m a father of two very successful daughters. They achieved their successes by hard work, measured risk-taking, and interpersonal skills. I did not give them $413 million. They did all this on their own. Let’s give credit where credit is due, to all successful women, like Maria. Congratulations on your new position!
Maria Grant says
Bob,
Thanks for your comments and congratulations on raising two successful daughters. I’m sure your support had a lot to do with it. Please keep reading.
Paul Rybon says
Mix Grant did inadvertantly make one valid point; Men threatened by successful women. Put simply, men don’t like being threatened by anybody.
Maria Grant says
Paul, thanks for reading my article. We are clearly on different pages.
Maria Grant says
Thanks for giving me credit for a valid point.
Meredith Baynham Watters says
I’m blown away by your thoughtful article. Thank you for your diligent research, excellent writing skills, and I very much look forward to your professionally prepared articles! Keep up all your hard work!
Maria Grant says
Meredith,
Thanks so much for your supportive comments. Please keep writing!
Maria Grant says
Meredith thanks so much for your encouraging words. They mean a lot.