15. You refuse to upgrade your Mac operating system because you are terrified it will have bugs and screw up your computer. You only do it when you find out important apps cannot run without the upgrade.
14. Your most sophisticated and used tech questions are: “Honey! Please call my phone” and “Is your internet down.”
13. You freak out when turning the power “Off” and “On” does not immediately solve your tech problem, and when your printer is not working, you hit it with your fist.
12. You can’t remember the new “easy-to-remember” password you were forced to create because you cannot remember your other 20 passwords.
11. When a ticket purchase website includes an obnoxious countdown timer, it feels like you’re in a tense action movie, and a bomb will go off if you do not complete the transaction before the timer hits 0000.
10. You long too much for your first Blackberry, a flip phone, or a landline.
9. You fear a ransomware attack more than an actual home invasion and are waiting for Netflix’s and other services password-sharing police to find you.
8. You spend too much time on social media, talking to Alexa and Siri, and when you go to dinner with friends, you have a rule to limit Google searches to fill in memory blanks in your conversation.
7. It is a horrible and expensive day when Apple announces it is changing all its power cord connector standards (i.e., USBC), making all the chargers and older connectors obsolete.
6. Speaking of obsolete equipment, you have boxes of old chargers, and you don’t know what they are for. Back in medieval times, I used to have this problem with keys.
5. Your home tech equipment has achieved special closet space status. It’s the home for your router, switch, and possibly a sound system and alarm equipment. I label the equipment due to my fading memory and have a yellow ribbon around the plug I must pull frequently when my Breezeline broadband service goes down.
4. When you call your adult children for help fixing a computer problem, they ghost you.
3. Finding excellent and reliable tech support is as essential to you as finding and keeping good childcare is for young parents. Remote tech support is excellent but I am always a little creeped out when they take control of my screen and fix problems in seconds I have labored over for hours.
2. You constantly fail the “I am not a Robot” test when asked to identify all the photos with a traffic light in the picture. You feel like an idiot.
1. When you were younger, you got excited about the introduction of new or upgraded tech devices (e.g., Walkman, iPod, iPhone, etc.) and raced to get one. Now, you just want everything to stay the same.
The indicators selected above were based on extensive research and do not depict me in any way. Yeah, Right! Please email me or comment with your indicator suggestions.
Hugh Panero, a tech & media entrepreneur was the founder & former CEO of XM Satellite Radio. He has worked with leading tech venture capital firms and was an adjunct media professor at George Washington University. He writes about Tech and Media for the Spy.
Madeleine Cohen says
Could’ve easily been a top twenty – or fifty! You didn’t even cover the trials and tribulations of dual authentication (yes, I know we need it) or those fond memories of losing EVERYTHING you’d worked on for hours because you forgot to save it… You really ‘captcha’d’ the moment for those of us born a bit before yesterday.
Craig Fuller says
Thanks, Hugh, for getting us to reflect on our runaway tech habits….here are a few of my favorites:
Or, you are told to use the QR Code and you think the family is accusing you of being a Quirky Relative….
Or, you are in message reply mode and you touch the microphone by accident and dictate a private 2 minute conversation which is sent on to an unwitting friend;
Or, you are notified of high winds and treacherous weather conditions that terrify you before someone points out that you are in Easton and the weather notification is for Florida;
Or, a friend tells you to use Waze to find a place that you have driven to many times, only to have the Waze app take you into neighborhoods you’ve never visited to shave 45 seconds off your travel time;
Or, you puzzle way to long about a “friend request” from someone you’ve never hard of, then dig deeper to find that the live in Singapore where you have never been;
Or, you read something shocking about a favorite actor’s health, only to find yourself hopelessly lost in ads for financial planning;
Or, for some reason you fail to put down your personal device and enjoy all that is going on around you in the real world….
Lyn Banghart says
These are great, Craig! For a former IT person who loves technology but is now 75…..perfect! Thank you for the chuckle first thing Saturday morning! I especially like your last one and both my husband and I are trying to just put them down and enjoy the beautiful view we have from our sunporch and each other!
Rigbylot Yacht Club Dock Boy says
Brilliant!!
scott cohen says
Good article… Technology is so overrated.
dalyne says
Tired of hiring a hacker online? Yes i experienced same issues when i needed a hacker urgently for a phone hack job but after many trials , it was just a waste of time . But i really want to thank Edwin for introducing me to the best hacker [ Remote spy hacker via google mail ] . This expert got my job done after couple of hours .
Lyn Banghart says
Oh my…. nothing like a good laugh first thing Saturday morning! Thank you for that, Hugh! I worked in IT. Love technology. Even love when there are problems. But at age 75 I can so identify with your “indicators”! Still smiling!
Jan Bohn says
I hate ‘we don’t recognize your device’ when it’s the one you’ve had for 5 years, plus 2 factor authentication, my fingerprint NEVER works, answer phone loops, trying to buy tickets on a website and it says ‘click the box’ only there isn’t any box. Bring back rotary phones, I loved my NOKIA phone that had snake on it. Oh for the good old days!!