What do you say to the children? By Maria Grant

After last week’s election results were reported, I have had many tearful conversations with friends and relatives who have children. Here are some of the questions these women asked.

Almost every day I tell my children how important it is to be kind. How do I defend the winning candidate who relentlessly made vicious and unkind comments about his opponent and others?

My child’s biggest obsession is the state of our planet. How do I comfort her in her distress about a candidate who doesn’t acknowledge the existence of climate change and who has threatened to dismantle the Environmental Protection Agency? It’s the year 2024 which scientists have proclaimed to be the hottest recorded year in history.

I have two beautiful biracial children. How do I assuage their worried looks when they realize that the candidate who called his opponent–a woman of color–dumb as a rock, lazy as hell, retarded, low-IQ, and not that attractive?

I spend my days telling my young sons how important it is to treat women with respect and dignity. How do I explain that the candidate who won called women bitches, fat pigs, and ugly as sin. And what do I say when they ask if it is true that more than half the country is OK with that?

My daughter just went off to college in a state that doesn’t allow a woman to have control over her own body. What should I recommend when she asks if she should apply to other colleges in other states that still have that right?

In their school, my children have initiated drives to support the children of Ukraine. What should I tell them when they worry about what will happen to Ukraine’s children now that the President-Elect has threatened to cut much needed aid?

I have a disabled child. Many of the special needs programs which we rely on may now be cut. What options will my child have?

We have relatives in Europe who have asked my children, “What the hell happened?” My children say they are embarrassed to live in this country. How do I defend this democracy?

My daughter works for the State Department. She is a dedicated civil servant who works hard and is committed to the cause. She is worried about losing her job as are many of her friends. The President-Elect has threatened to cut hundreds of civil service jobs and replace heads of various agencies with supporters who have no federal experience. How can I reassure her that everything will be OK? 

I asked, “How did you respond to these questions?” Here’s what they said.

You continue to do the right thing. Treat others the way you want them to treat you. 

You are right to be concerned about the planet. Let’s do our part to reduce the effects of global warming. Remember that one oyster can filter 50 gallons of water in one day. Let’s become oyster gardeners which will improve the quality of water in Chesapeake Bay.

 Be Kind. Treat women with respect and dignity. You will love yourself. And others will love you for it.

 Let’s talk about whether you should transfer to another college in a state that has laws with which you are more comfortable. 

We will keep sending care packages to Ukraine’s children. Now they need them more than ever.

Let’s do more research on various programs that help children with special needs. Don’t give up hope. We are here for you. 

Every country has highs and lows. The next election is in two years. Traditionally that means a lot of change. Keep the faith. Almost every country on earth has succumbed to craziness at some time in its history. 

Continue to do your important work to the best of your ability. Start to think about possible alternatives should your job be eliminated. 

One friend said she went into her bedroom, shut the door, and cried again. Then she sighed, took some deep breaths, went back into the family room, and asked, “What should we have for dinner?” 

Maria Grant was principal-in-charge of the federal human capital practice of an international consulting firm. While on the Eastern Shore, she focuses on writing, reading, music, and nature.