A Cure for Grumpiness by Angela Rieck

Being around seniors can be equal parts frustrating and rewarding. Some seniors know how to laugh about our predicament while others seem to just grumble. But today, I want to take some time off from my research for the next column to focus on the senior comments that make me laugh.

My inspiration came from a funny story in the Washington Post: This is Cecil. He has never done anything bad in his life. Until he ate $4,000.

It was an amusing story about the authors (not senior citizens, BTW) and their attempts to recover $4,000 from all of Cecil’s orifices and expulsions and then piece the bits of money together…of course, we know that these remnants did not come from fun places. It was a funny story, but I liked a comment made by a senior citizen (see moniker) even better. It read:

I taught my dog not to eat anything above a $5 bill. The training was expensive but it should pay off in the long term.  Signed: Old and in the way

I wish I could meet this man or woman…s/he would be someone I would enjoy immensely, a combination of a great sense of humor and ability to laugh at him/herself. This new muse gave me the impetus to find other seniors who enjoyed laughing at themselves and here is what I found. (I included attribution when I could find it.)

• I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.
• I wake up every morning and read the obituary column, if my name is not in it, I get up. (Ben Franklin)
• As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. (Author’s Note: Several authors have been attributed to this quote.)
• I feel about aging the way William Saroyan said he felt about death: ‘Everybody has to do it,’ but I always believed an exception would be made in my case. (Martha Beck)
• Aging gracefully is the nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse. (George Carlin)
• Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. (John Wagner)
• It’s weird being the same age as old people.
• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. (Jennifer Yane)
• Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. (Andy Rooney)
• No one should grow old who isn’t afraid of looking ridiculous.
• Growing old is humbling. It takes effort to accomplish this stage of life with dignity.
• At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all. Author’s Note: This quote has been incorrectly attributed to a number of people. Regardless, I believe that this is why we get wisdom with age.
• … people read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then I realized, they are cramming for the final exam. (George Carlin)
• In a world where the keywords for salvation are stop, return and regress, old people are extremely valuable. (George Carlin)
• Capriciousness is the preserve of the old. So marvelous to be able to let random thoughts pour from the mind to the tongue without pause or retribution.
• The best thing about being older is that we did most of our stupid things before the Internet.
• I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.
• It’s not that we have more patience as we grow older, it’s just that we’re too tired to care about all the pointless drama.
• Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. (Tom Wilson)
• No one is ever old enough to know better. (Holbrook Jackson)
• Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. (Benjamin Franklin)
• Human aging is analogous to aging fruit, it mellows some; others become rotten.
• Age is a high price to pay for maturity. (Sir Tom Stoppard)
• You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. (Ogden Nash)
• Getting older makes you no wiser, but a number of lessons are learned.

I believe what separates those who age well and those who don’t is the ability to laugh at ourselves. At this point in our lives, we get to choose who we want to be. And let’s face it, if we choose to laugh at ourselves we now have a lot of material to work with.

Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West, Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.