Squirrel Feeders by Angela Rieck

The blackbirds have left for the fields. So I have resumed filling my birdfeeders, which also double as a squirrel gymnasium. 

Over the years, I have tried a number of squirrel-proof feeders. Ones that spun, others that closed when a larger mammal stepped on the perch…all to no avail. Watching squirrels climb up a greased pole was amusing. They would take turns until one of them was able to absorb all of the oil and the remaining squirrels found a way to stick their claws into the metal. They overcame squirrel baffles by jumping from tree branches above, sticking their nails into them and leaning over to get the treats. 

The squirrels have thwarted all my attempts to stop them. At one point, I decided my birdfeeders were a training site for the squirrel Olympics (I am sure they must have one).

Often, I call on my trusty dogs to “go get the squirrels.” As soon as I speak, I hear screeching toenails skidding across the wooden floors, then the sound of excited barking, and the flap of the dog door as they race out to chase the squirrels. I do this because I know that they will not be able to actually catch the squirrels. Sadie, my toy poodle mix, weighs just a little more than the squirrels and the other two dogs are too slow and unfocused. They meander around the yard sniffing for squirrels. Only Sadie, the smart poodle mix, knows where to find the squirrels. By the time the other dogs make their way over, the squirrels have climbed up the trees and are taunting them with their chatter and tail whisking.

It’s a dance.

Over the years, I have alternately accepted the squirrels or tried to stop them. This fall, I am going to try again to thwart them again. 

I researched squirrel proof feeders to find one that I haven’t bought. I scrolled past the ones where the food holes were too small—the squirrels just chewed the plastic off. I ignored the motorized one where it spins around so fast that the squirrels fall off. While that was fun to watch for a while, eventually the squirrels saw this as an amusement park and were able to stay on for the ride. I ignore the birdfeeders where the perch is connected to the feeder and once a squirrel steps on it, it closes. The squirrels learned to attach themselves to the feeder without touching the perch. I settled for one that has heavy steel bands that encircle the feeder. While the squirrels can get on the birdfeeder, the metal bands between the holes shouldn’t allow them to reach the food. Let’s see how that works.

In the meantime, I have my trusty band of canines, at the ready.