It is summertime and some of you may be caring for another dog while the owners are away. I have been asked for advice, so I am offering unsolicited advice to all of my unsuspecting readers. My advice is based on my experience, books, and videos, not any formal training or certification.
And I can guarantee you that every dog trainer will probably disagree with some of my opinions. All us dog people are crazy.
People believe that I am a dog whisperer. I am not, but I have fostered and rehabilitated over 200 rescue dogs. My experience is with small dogs that have been surrendered to shelters, rescued from puppy mills, abused by owners, picked up as strays, or rescued from a hoarding situation. The dogs that I worked with were often fearful, damaged, biting, or insecure dogs. So, I tend to anticipate worst case scenarios.
There are different training techniques that I categorize into two groups: assertive training (e.g., Cesar Millan), and reward based training. In my opinion, both are useful for different issues. Assertive training works well for aggressive behaviors (e.g., object/leash/food aggression, biting, disrespect, anxiety). Reward-based training is effective for teaching dogs the rules of human homes (e.g., housetraining, chewing, bad habits).
First a digression. I disagree with one of the most common behaviors that I witness when people approach an unfamiliar dog. They ask the owner if they can pet the dog (good!) and then lean toward the dog and put their hand out for the dog to sniff (not good!). In my opinion, this is a dangerous and unnecessary gesture that can lead to unexpected bites. Here’s why.
By the time you approach the dog, it has already learned about you from its superior sense of smell. It knows your gender, if you have pets, your age group (e.g., child or adult), and similarities to its humans. (Most dogs are not able to generalize, and insecure dogs can be fearful of someone who doesn’t share the characteristics of their humans.) Not only will the dog not gain additional information from sniffing your hand, but the gestures of leaning over and sticking out a hand can be perceived as disrespectful, threatening, and even aggressive to a small and insecure dog.
This is what I recommend. First, ask the owner if you can pet the dog. Maintain your distance (at least 4-5 feet), talk softly at the dog, smile, and make eye contact during the encounter. Observe the dog’s behavior. If it is holding your gaze, moving toward you in a playful manner, getting close to you, it wants to be petted (tail wagging is usually playful, but not with aggressive dogs). If it stays back, hides behind its owner, avoids your gaze, growls, shows its teeth, stares in a menacing way, or moves away, it is doesn’t want contact. It is nervous, and nervous dogs are not always predictable. In this sequence you have demonstrated respect to the dog because you didn’t invade its personal space, you asked permission, and you respected its answer.
This is what I do with small dogs (but I recommend this only if you are experienced and can speak “dog”). I ask the owner if I can pet the dog. Then I squat down at the dogs level about 4 feet away from the dog. I talk softly, smile, and maintain friendly eye contact with the dog. In this simple gesture I have communicated that I respect it, and that the dog can trust me (because I made myself vulnerable). I wait for it to tell me what it wants. Since dogs are social creatures, they want a connection, but some are just too fearful, too sheltered, or too protective. If the dog exhibits any of the behaviors that I mentioned above, I stand up, compliment the owner on what a cute dog it is (have you ever seen a dog who is not cute?), make smiling eye contact with the dog and walk away.
Over time, the dog will realize that I am not a threat. One of the dogs who is now a frequent visitor at my home required several encounters before he was willing to trust me. It was simply a matter of allowing him to make contact on his terms.
On the other hand, if you are approaching a confident dog or puppy, they are usually fine with the approach of sticking out your hand.
It is easy to miss the cues a dog is giving. Before I began rehabilitating dogs, my toddler daughter and I were visiting some close friends and their Airedale bit my daughter in the face. It was our fault.
The Airedale had never encountered children and my toddler made him nervous. My daughter was fascinated by him, didn’t touch him, but followed him when he tried to move away. Frustrated, he eventually growled. His owners continued to assure me, don’t worry, he loves everyone. Frustrated by our unwillingness to help him, he finally bit her, but he didn’t break skin (this is a sign of a fearful or frustrated dog, an aggressive dog breaks skin and can be VERY dangerous). The purpose of the bite was to get her to go away. Nonaggressive dogs bite as their LAST resort, after they have tried everything to get you to listen.
Immediately she looked at me to learn how she should react. I smiled and praised her and explained that the dog was cranky, and it was his way of saying he wanted to be alone. Then we created a game about what cranky people and animals might do. By downplaying the incident, she never developed a fear of dogs.
Now, back to that canine visitor. Prior to the visit, put all dog toys and treats out of reach. Once you can ascertain that your dog isn’t jealous or aggressive, you can put them back. Next, imagine what is going on in the canine visitor’s mind. She (I am using a female pronoun for the canine visitor, but this applies to both male and female visitors) believes she has been abandoned, into a world where she doesn’t know the rules. She might be stressed or anxious.
Begin by gently teaching her the house rules (treats can be helpful); reward her for going to the bathroom outside, show her the dog cushions, etc. Every time you reward the visitor, reward your dog as well. If you have another dog, put away any of the visitor’s dog toys until the dogs get to know each other. For the next three days, your canine visitor will probably follow you everywhere because you are her only link to her previous life. If you have a dog, give affection, treats, and food to your dog first. This sets the rule. The new dog must learn her secondary position in the pack.
If your canine visitor is an only dog, she is used to being the queen of the castle. She will behave as she has learned to behave in her home, namely, she is the top dog. But not in your home. I use a petting technique to teach visitors their position in the pack. I put my canine visitor in a sit while she watches me pet my dogs first. Then I put my dogs in a sit and pet her, giving her a little extra affection for waiting so patiently. I repeat this until all dogs learn their place in the pack.
Your dog will teach the visitor the rules of the house. But if your dog becomes jealous, you need to pay close attention, especially if you have a bossy (alpha) or older dog.
Dogs typically have a disciplinary progression with other dogs. In the first progression, they turn their head away or move away. If the visitor doesn’t respect your dog’s space, your dog will make a low, soft growl. Each time your dog makes a proper correction, praise him. (A common mistake is to discipline your dog for growling, but in dog language it is a perfectly acceptable and respectful way to communicate.) If the visitor refuses to listen, the next correction is a louder, more menacing growl…this is an acceptable and routine escalation, so do not correct your dog. But, it is getting tense, and you need to act. Move the canine visitor away, put her in a sit, speak gently, give her a single pet, but do not try to comfort her, she is learning.
The next escalation by your dog should be a snap, not a bite. Now you are approaching the danger zone, the next correction is likely to be an attack.
Make eye contact and speak sternly to the offender (your dog or the visitor) then immediately separate the dogs and keep them apart until both dogs relax. (Remember, comforting a dog is actually rewarding it. Be stern and confident but don’t yell, they need to settle themselves down.) Sometimes it is safer to put them in different rooms, but that can sometimes take them longer to settle.
This is the normal correction/escalation process in dog language, if either dog jumps to the “triple dog dare,” act quickly to avoid a fight.
If the visitor becomes aggressive, remove her immediately from the situation. She is trying to set the rules. (There are exceptions, of course, if your dog is a “chill” dog, it may not mind if the visitors runs the show.) Each time the visitor shows aggression, show your displeasure (by gazing into her eyes reproachfully), and remove her until she calms down.
Sometimes the stress of being in a new home can cause visitors to have accidents and your dog to mark (both male and female). This is annoying, but normal, the visitor may feel nervous and either dog may wish to mark their territory.
As for sleeping arrangements, that depends your dog’s current sleeping habits. If you have more than one dog, treat the canine visitor the same as your pack. Putting the visitor in a crate while the others are walking freely can cause the pack to gang up on her.
We have a saying in rescue: three days, three weeks. In three days, the situation will settle and work well. In three weeks, the visitor is completely comfortable in this arrangement. (But don’t worry dog owners, as soon as your dog sees you, she will go bananas, and a joyful homecoming will ensue.)
If you follow these rules, by Day 3, all should be calm. As you can see from this picture, my bossy 15 year old Maltese-mix, Gus, is sharing his space with an adorable, super high energy puppy visitor. It took the full three days, because the sweet, stubborn, little visitor wanted to play and both of my elderly dogs’ preferred to nap.
If both dogs are young, play with the dogs together. Play fetch, run, take brisk walks, all of these will bond the visitor to your pack. Use these games to teach them their status in the pack. (But avoid aggressive games such as tug, this can cause redirected aggression—where one dog transfers his excitement/aggression to the other dog).
These are just a few of the lessons that I have learned. I can assure you right now that there are dog trainers, dog owners, and dog behaviorists right now that are shaking their heads and proclaiming me a moron.
After all, all dog people are crazy.
Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.
Lisa Benshoff, CBCC-KA ,CPDT-KA says
As a certified behavior consultant and professional trainer, I commend Angela for some of her advice here. It’s very important to recognize body language and back off when a dog shows signs of stress or nervousness, rather than putting out a hand or moving into the dog’s space–even if your intent is to show the dog that you’re not a threat. Let the dog come to you.
But “assertive training” (Cesar Millan style) is definitely the wrong approach with aggressive behavior.
Aggression and “disrespect” (whatever that means) are commonly due to fear, stress, and/or not knowing what she should do instead. As guardians, we need to (first) avoid putting our dogs in situations they cannot handle.
Whether the purpose of the behavior is defensive (in the dog’s perspective) or offensive (to guard its resources), an “assertive” response by humans often makes the dog’s behavior worse because it’s perceived as aggression, usually poorly timed, and has lots of unintended fallout, including bites.
A more effective and humane approach for all sorts of unwanted behavior includes a medical check, since aggression and certain other behavior issues can be caused or worsened by pain, discomfort, or disease. Then, educated trainers and behavior consultants apply management, enrichment, and positive-reinforcement training to prevent rehearsal, to meet individual/breed/species needs, to change emotions, and to teach alternative behaviors.
It’s not just kinder than being “assertive”; it really works.
ANGELA RIECK says
Thank you. I want to clarify that “assertive” training is not punitive and involves no punishment or reprimand, merely teaching the animal what is acceptable. Cesar Millan TV shows demonstrate what “assertive training” is. Nevertheless, I respect your view; anytime we can help animals, it is a blessing.
Lisa Benshoff says
Thank you, Angela. I appreciate that you want to help animals.
In behavior science, punishment is any tool or technique that reduces a behavior, not just physical ones. Calling it teaching “what is not acceptable” sounds better, but it’s still punishment-based training. Yes, you can stamp out unwanted behavior with just intimidation, which I’ve seen CM use “successfully.” But this old-school method only suppresses behavior and increases stress rather than teaching better behaviors.
When an animal is in a state of fear, anger, or anxiety, it’s not possible to think and learn new skills. That’s why it’s more humane and effective to teach what we DO want dogs to do, using reinforcement. If we focus on what we don’t want them to do, that requires punishment of some kind.
Changing antecedents and consequences, and finding other ways to fulfill the function of the unwanted behavior are the modern, science-based way to improve behavior.
Denise Malueg says
Angela, I don’t think you are a moron! You made some good points (don’t stick out your hand for a dog to sniff – so very important, yes!), but some points are outdated. Dog training and the field of animal behavior has made important strides over the past ten years. We know so much better, so we can do so much better for the animals in our lives!
Dog people are not “crazy.” I am not crazy because I take issue with some of your advice in the article. Those tips may work for you, but may not be working in the way you THINK they are for the dogs you have encountered.
A quick “for instance:” eye contact with a dog? That’s a threatening gesture in their world, and to send them on their way with eye contact and a smile (baring your teeth) could be especially intimidating to a dog. Dogs don’t greet each other like that, so we should not either. But I’m not saying to sniff their backsides! Dogs adapt to a lot in our world, it’s good when we can adapt a little to theirs, and just allow them to approach us, without us reaching out to pet, makes a good first impression, and a next step/stroke on their side could come afterward. As you point out, understanding their body language is important. Their cues can be so quick sometimes, that we miss them. It’s very helpful to work with trainers to become better at reading your own dog’s body language, no matter their age, no matter how long you’ve had animals in your world. I learn something new every week/day about my 6 year old dog.
If I wrote an article about preparing my car for a summer cross-country road-trip, I would run the article past a mechanic or two, to see if I was covering the details accurately. They might tell me it is unnecessary to change the Winter Air in the tires to Summer Air. (Chuckle). I suspect if you had run this past a canine behaviorist or certified trainer, they may have interjected scientifically studied and developed methods, rather than drawing entirely from your own anecdotal experience, which could have made it an enlightening article for your readers. You are correct to assume lots of dogs are spending summer vacations at friends’ houses, and this is a great topic to tackle!
There are many resources available to bone up on current animal behavior information. I recommend selecting university-sponsored websites (the vet school of University of PA has PennVet with great info) or the long-trusted and highly regarded sites for professionals (such as the Karen Pryor Academy) and even many podcasts by certified professionals for info on methods and activities (one of many I like is “Enrichment for the Real World”).
I used to help with training of guide dog puppies. More than 15 years ago, the organization changed their methods from those outdated, coercive methods (it’s just a little swat, tug, rattle, zap – “it doesn’t hurt them” – ha!) to rewards-based training. It revolutionized the training process and led to higher graduation rates of the dogs! I also used to be the person with whom the neighbors left their dogs while they went on vacation. We’d get to know each other at the pup’s pace, without some human-imposed hierarchy amongst the members in the house. That may be a chimp thing, but that “alpha” and pack theory really does not apply to dogs, behavior scientists have realized.
Zoos use rewards-based training methods to get toothy lions to submit to medical exams without trauma on either side. I’ve also noticed that they don’t introduce new animals to each other by putting them into the same enclosure and letting them “correct” each other. So, I suggest a visiting dog could be baby-gated off from a resident dog, until they became familiar. An entire house can be overwhelming to a new visiting dog, so restricting access with gates and doors may help the visitor get acclimated to the new environment at a manageable pace. Separate walks and meal locations may also be required until the resident & visiting dogs are comfortable with each other.
When I had a guest dog visit, I kept a daily journal for their humans to read after their vacation. Often, the people commented that their dog seemed to behave differently at my house than at theirs, and that she did a lot more activities with me. Sometimes they realized they could have more fun with their own dog, they just had not tried previously. That’s the other thing with hosting a dog: a diversity of games & enrichment/stimulation activities keeps their mind busy, so their paws are not digging up your flower bed!
Some of the how-to points I would recommend for taking care of a visiting dog pal would be: 1) reward the behavior you want repeated, 2) introduce the new environment in stages to not overwhelm your guest, using baby gates/obstructions 3) consider the safety and comfort of your resident dog and don’t make him do the work you should do, even if it means an inconvenience for you, 4) interesting activities in the guise of training and games will make it a fun visit for everyone.
I hope this helps folks enjoy a visit with a furry guest!